Honesty

August 2, 1997

Now there is a great secret that I'm going to tell you guys about tonight, and this is the secret of secrets.

Corky: Wow, where are we going to eat tonight? [Points to a little Buddha statue] Does everybody know the story of that particular shrine? Do you know it, Ron? A little bit about it, tell everybody what you know about that particular shrine.

Ron: I was just hearing from Gracey that it's the little Buddha that brings prosperity.

Corky: Yeah, on his back is a backpack full of gold, and Buddha... part of his teachings were that there is nothing wrong with prosperity. You know, there's nothing wrong at all with having wealth and money or those things, but you notice that at the same time he's doing a lot of other things. He's got his little jug of water down there, and he's carrying his walking stick and his pair of beads, or his meditation beads, and it represents a part of creation, of prosperity and poverty. The opposites between the two. Sometimes you see these people in poverty. You guys have seen people in poverty? I had a guy come here and interview me, I've probably told you guys this story, he was an investigator for Ronnie Lee Gardener's new trial, and he went and he had to locate a suspect in Africa, and you know the war between the tittsies and the tootsies, or whatever the name of the two tribes are over there... does anybody know their name? [Tutsi and Hutu tribes] Anyway, there's two tribes, and when one tribe gets in power, they kill all of the other people, but they do several million at a time, it's not a small thing, it's a big thing. And so one group of people flee the country, and they take everything that they own on their backs. And when the last one was happening last year, they played it on CNN news all the time, it's been going on forever, and the UNICEF tries to go in and feed them on the roads and stuff, and two and a half million people left Kenya, one of the African countries, and went to another country for safety because another government came and took control. Two and a half million people. That's twice the population of the state of Utah.

And they were walking down a dirt road, and this guy for the trial said he drove over a hill, and he saw way off in the distance this cloud of dust on the road that he was going down, and he said it was miles away, he could see the cloud of dust, but all along the side of the road there were people digging holes and burying bodies after he left the main city, and he said he couldn't believe it, and as soon as he got to the cloud of dust, or got closer to it, there were people at the back of the line marching to the new country, the two and a half million people, and there was piles of bodies the whole way, they died in the march to the next country which was something like 150 miles away. Because they had no food, or they were old, or they had aids or some kind of disease or something. He said he just couldn't believe it, he says as you drove behind the dust, you could see the bodies come out of the dust, and they just laid in the road until the UNICEF trucks came along with a back hoe, and dug mass graves, and just put them in so botulism and the plague wouldn't spread because of the decaying bodies. But he said he probably saw a hundred thousand dead bodies in one week. And these people marching.

Lenny: That's kind of scary.

Corky: And this is last year. This isn't a long time ago, this is recent. This is what goes on on this planet. And then people here think they have a hard time, real hard time and all with life and everything. Times are hard, and things are difficult, and that takes us back to Buddha. Buddha's philosophy was that there is a state of poverty, and there's a state of prosperity. But to always maintain prosperity, you need to stay in the cycle of what comes to you goes away from you, and that you never hoard it. That was an old Christian story. Don't bury your gold in the field, or hide it away. The Christians inherited that story from Buddha. It's an ancient story, it's always been told over and over and over. It says it in the Summum book, it says if you have something of great value, you want to share it, you don't want to unnecessarily hoard it, because as soon as you start hoarding it, or saving it, or trying to stock it away for yourself, you lose the gift of prosperity. You may have it for a lifetime, you may be a billionaire for one lifetime. And you will wake up in your next lifetime... because one step at a time, into a very wealthy family... but you will automatically swing back into that poverty, walking down the road of dust where the bodies just drop out like dead flies from the back of it. From poverty. Because you didn't get in the cycle of sharing the prosperity, and you buried your treasure in a field rather than making it grow, and making more creation out of it; you held on to it, and you made it "yours."

We better have a little meditation before we start class... [Corky rings the bell for a moment]. That womb sings like the beat of a heart. Isn't it amazing how it does that? It has a beat, a rhythm, a wave to it. Does everybody hear the wave, or is it just me? You guys hear the wave too? It goes WooWooWooWooWoo, it has a wave to it. We have a real short class tonight, and then we're going to go eat. But the thing that's really interesting is that the people that are really supposed to be to the classes, because it would help them the most, usually don't come. Wouldn't you say that has been the truth, Su, ever since you've been here?

Su: Yeah.

Corky: Wouldn't you say that would be sort of the truth, Ellen? People that don't need the class are here, and the people that really need it are absent, because it's usually about them. And this cycle of prosperity that we're talking about, or the cycle of being a sun... the sun doesn't burn out when it goes over the horizon, and stop shining, it continues to be in the cycle, but you know what it does? The reason it shines so bright is because it gives everything of itself to create something else. That's why a sun shines so bright. That's why you hear in those scriptures that you don't hide your lantern under a cover, that you let the light out. That's why you hear the scriptures say, "in the beginning, the first thing that was created was light." And something that's very interesting about light is that light goes away from itself, and creates something. Light never stays still, it always leaves its source and comes to you, or to a plant to give it birth, or to make that beautiful flower possible, or that beautiful rose, or the ivy. Those could not be without light. You couldn't be unless there were a sun shining, giving of itself for creation, and that's the bag on the back of Buddha. And most people miss. Most everyone misses. The reason they miss is because they bury their gold in a field. When they have a candle, they run away and hide with it. They don't share their light. As it says in the Summum book, when you have something very precious, you share it. And it'll always be reborn.

Now there is a great secret that I'm going to tell you guys about tonight, and this is the secret of secrets. It's the secret found inside the holy of holies. And the rest of the people aren't here because they wouldn't understand the secret. But the secret has something to do with this eternal circle. It's an eternal circle where the sun eternally revolves around the earth, I mean the earth revolves around the sun, and it draws its life force from the sun. And it is attracted to the sun, and it exists because of the sun, and the life or existence happens because of suns. And they stay for billions of years, until they implode, and are reborn, and do the same thing again. And they continue on forever, and they've discovered the eternal secret. The secret that it always goes on, and it lasts forever. It goes on for infinity. And it's a secret. And every one of you already know what the secret is, because everyone struggles with the secret at this stage of progression, or evolution. They struggle with it from the time that they start into life. Now, there's always these opposites, the north and the south. What would you say, Lenny, would be the opposite of honesty?

Lenny: Dishonesty.

Corky: Dishonesty. So I have these two polarities, and you cannot be honest unless you're dishonest. So there's a paradox here. How you going to be honest unless you're dishonest? Isn't it weird? Isn't that a weird thing? Do you know any dishonest people?

Lenny: Seems like everybody that I've met or come across seems dishonest, but at the same time I could sort of trust them at the same time.

Corky: So they have a little bit of both? So they have both dishonest and honest, so there's a combination?

Lenny: Yeah.

Corky: Do you know anybody who's honest, Shad, or dishonest?

Shad: Yeah. I think everybody is both at some point.

Corky: What would you say about Vern?

Shad: I think Vern thinks he's honest, but a lot of times he isn't.

Corky: But a lot of times he's dishonest. Do you know a lot of dishonest people?

Cami: Yeah.

Corky: Ellen, do you know a lot of honest and dishonest people?

Ellen: A lot.

Corky: How about you, Terry? How about you, Su? How about you, Grace? [Everyone nods yes] Lenny, do you have any relatives that are dishonest?

Lenny: Yeah, quite a bit.

Corky: Out of all of your relatives, who would you say is the most dishonest?

Lenny: I never really gave it much thought.

Corky: But if you had to think about it right now for a few seconds...

Lenny: I think my brother Tony.

Corky: Is the most dishonest?

Lenny: Yeah.

Corky: Why is that?

Lenny: I think because he's real greedy. He wants to have it all. He wants to be honest at the same time, so you trust him.

Corky: Then who's second?

Lenny: Who's second? Probably Al or my sister Joanne.

Corky: Now Lenny mentioned a funny word, "greedy," what's that got to do with hiding your gold in a field? Putting your treasure in a field?

Lenny: Being concerned about your butt. Believing that possession is yours of some kind. Having a possession.

Corky: Why do people want to possess things?

Terry: Power will overcome fear.

Corky: You think it gives them power?

Terry: I think they think it will.

Corky: It starts out that way, right? Do you think that there's an amount that you can arrive at, that when you get enough, that a fear will go away? It doesn't seem to with all the people you see that have lots of money. It seems like the more they get, the more fear they get.

Terry: They think it will right up to the end.

Corky: Right up to the end. Howard Hughes for example, right? The more they've got, the more they have to worry about it. And then that old fable, "don't store treasures in your house for thieves to break in," and stuff like that? Because you have to worry about it all the time. Or have three cars in the parking lot, and worry about which one they're going to get tonight. [Lenny laughs out loud]

Corky: Why are you laughing?

Lenny: Because I was worried about that, and then I just said, "well who cares?"

Corky: But has it caused you stress?

Lenny: It has in the last three or four or five months.

Corky: You mean worrying about which car they're going to break into.

Lenny: Yeah. I've even gone out of my way to park my car five houses down the road so that my neighbor won't walk to the car, he's so old, it's so hard for him to walk at night, to drag his legs down the road.

Corky: To get to your car?

Lenny: Yeah.

Corky: To break in, to do something to it?

Lenny: And today was a heck of an experience because when I saw my lock today on my white pickup, I just laid down on my bed and said, "who cares" because I'm at this point of just letting go of the truck anyway, and when I talked to Gracey about fixing it or just selling the truck the way it was... and then I heard about this lock over here, it just reminded me of being obsessed or having possessions, and the more possessions I have... it kind of reminded me of all my vending locations, all the great, uh... Pioneer Valley vending locations I had, the more and more I wanted, and at the same time, every time I went in there I felt very uncomfortable, even though I'd park next to a sheriff.

Corky: Why?

Lenny: Because I never asked permission, you know, because of greed.

Corky: And so let's just say if you would have had ten million dollars a year in locations, would it have helped the stress and the feeling?

Lenny: It would just add to it.

Corky: You would have had more locks to worry about them to break into?

Lenny: Yup. I'd have to move those cars around, or those machines around. Or go down and drive by those machines, and make sure those machines were still there.

Corky: This secret of Buddha is very interesting. Does he look like a rich man?

Various People: No.

Corky: But his bag is full of gold, on his back, and what the eastern people have discovered is that when you give, you receive. They have these little Buddhas like this, and they give to them every day, they have an offering. They give them rice or they give them... but they give them the best of what they have. They give them the best, give Buddha the best of what they have, as a gift. What does the sun give? The worst of what it has, or does it give the best? Does it give birth, or does it give death?

Lenny: Life.

Corky: It makes everything live on the planet? All the suns do out there. If the sun went out, kiss your butt goodbye. I'm gonna get real cold down here real quick. Some people are going to burn some fossil fuel down here, and turn on some lights and stuff like that, but there would be such a panic and such a chaos in it that a bunch of people would all kill each other off. And then the fossil fuel would last for a while until it polluted so bad that everybody had to go underground, and then those few that mutated because of interbreeding would die off after a couple hundred years, if the sun went out. The sun discovered a secret. It's that eternalness of joining the beginning and the end together that makes it last eternally. It turned a straight line into a circle and joined it together. It turned an honesty and a dishonesty into a circle. This is a Pythagorean secret.

There's no such thing as a straight line, did you guys know that? That if you shoot a line off, or if you shoot a laser off into space, that it comes around in a complete circle back to its beginning, because space is curved. It comes right back to its origin. So there really is no such thing as a straight line except for in your mind. So everyone gets caught up in this... "situation," let's call it, of honesty and dishonesty, of how can I say this in such a way that it's honest, but it's really dishonest. How can I do this wherever I go in such a way that it's honest and dishonest.

When we were in California, Jo Justiceson wrote me an email. Why'd she write me an email, I forgot.

Gracey: Because we were questioning charges.

Corky: Oh, we were trying to collect all the charge accounts, and she wrote me an email, and what did she say in the email? The basic story, if you had to summarize the whole story down, she talked about Al, because we asked Al for his... we couldn't figure out why Al was spending more money on his gas card than we were, and we were doing all of Utah and California, and he was just hanging out in Utah. What was the jist of her email?

Gracey: That instead of suspecting Al, we should tighten our own ship.

Corky: Right, and the reason we should tighten our own ship rather than asking Al for his card back is because Al is what kind of a person?

Gracey: Devoted.

Corky: How devoted?

Gracey: He would give his life.

Corky: He would give his life for what?

Gracey: Summum.

Corky: He would do what for Summum?

Gracey: Die.

Corky: He would die for Summum. And what else would he do for Summum? Anything and everything. She said he had done everything in his whole life for Summum, and made Summum possible, in so many words, right?

Why do you think Jo would write an email like that, Lenny?

Lenny: She's brainwashed.

Corky: By who?

Lenny: By Al.

Corky: In what way?

Lenny: Well Al's been allowing her to believe that he is dedicated, that he has given his whole life to make this thing possible when Corky and Gracey are in California, to be there to answer the phones, or to be there wherever he is with his mobile phone.

Corky: Ok, let's go back a couple of years when Al and Janet were married. How many jobs did Janet have?

Lenny: Janet had two jobs, and she was going to school I think.

Corky: And at one time she had three, right? And how many did Al have?

Lenny: He didn't have any. He had a few, but he got canned, but most of the time he didn't have any. Most of the time that they were together he was "Betty Flintstone," and she was "Fred Flintstone," as you could say it in the seventies. She was out plowing the road for Al... you know, this, uh, greedy person that wanted anything he could possibly get, she would allow it to be, and he would just write a check. He was taking care of the checking, and all she was doing was working, and going to school, and just giving him everything anyone could possibly want, and he would just write a check.

Corky: Why did Al do that?

Lenny: I'm not sure if he wanted to do it because of a position that he felt he was in, in his relationship with his wife.

Corky: Do you think that Al liked Janet?

Lenny: A little bit.

Corky: Do you think that Al liked Al more than he liked Janet?

Lenny: Yeah, I think he cared for himself more.

Corky: Do you think that if Al could have taken out an insurance policy on Janet for 250,000 dollars, and had her done in, he would have done it and collected and not been caught?

Lenny: Yeah, he'd probably do it today on Jo.

Corky: On Jo, same thing? And you're his brother?

Lenny: Yeah, he'd probably do it on me too.

Corky: Why?

Lenny: I'm not sure if he believes that he needs something to possess, or if it's a lack of security on his own behalf... he's got it made when you really relax with it and look at it.

Corky: So you mean that you really do believe that if he thought he could get away with it, he would do a hit on Jo and collect 250,000 dollars?

Lenny: He's already doing a hit on Jo, and Jo doesn't even know it. Just like I said when we started talking about this, he's got Jo believing, or he's brainwashed Jo, according to the email. And when I was over at her place on Tuesday when they got back from California, it was just her and I and Al was out. And it was pretty tight to see her in this situation in the land of make believe, because she's believing that Al is somebody that he's not. You know, she needs security, we all need security long term, and Al's not the long term, Al's just looking out for himself it seems like.

Corky: What do you think is going to happen?

Lenny: I think that there's going to be a standstill in his life, where he's really going to have to stop and look at everything in his life, where he's going to have to be faced with looking at each moment, instead of daydreaming and thinking things could be the way that he believes they would be, or would like them to be.

Corky: How do you think that's going to happen?

Lenny: Probably punishment. Like I believe I heard it said the soul has to be split in two, I think, to get the attention of Al. I know it has to with me. Just my own experience.

Corky: It's a really interesting situation isn't it?

Lenny: Yeah, it's real deadly.

Corky: The only reason we're talking about Al right now is because everybody goes through this argument of honesty and dishonesty. And when Christ was on the cross, he was talking about taking that cup away from him, and whether he was supposed to be doing this or not. And that secret in the holy of holies is the secret that allows you to look at yourself, and not look at anybody else. It's right up there on the wall, called the "weighing of the heart." And what happens is, at some time or another, in one of your lifetimes, you start looking at yourself, and the things you do, and the things you say, and the way you behave, and what your life is dedicated to and stuff. And when you first start doing it, it gets real stressful. Tell us, Su, what the stress is like. Just give us an example, what the stress feels like.

Su: It just feels like you're being torn apart, like you never give yourself a break.

Corky: Yeah, it's an itch inside isn't it? It starts that way. And then when you get real serious about it in some lifetime, you get in this big argument with yourself inside, this all takes place inside. And it causes sort of wet and dry sweats. You got a smile on Ron, what are the wet and dry sweats about?

Ron: Oh man! There's a movie called High Anxiety. Just a... man... you just start questioning everything that you do. It's not necessarily what you do, it's what was your intent behind it. Didn't matter what it was, whether it was a good thing or a bad thing, it was what was your intent on it.

Corky: An intent. Lenny just gave us a real good presentation on intent. It was very good. Intent. What's your intent? Behind it... has anybody here been so close to it that you said to yourself that I would rather just go out of existence than deal with this?

Su: Uh huh.

Corky: You have? You've heard that voice? It's talked to you? It says, "I don't necessarily want to deal with this, I'd rather just go away." Just erase me and whatever I am off of the paper of life and eternity and existence.

Lenny: I'm right there too.

Corky: You've had one of those before?

Lenny: A couple of them.

Corky: Couple of them...well let me tell you, if you've had those, you're blessed. You're in a good spot. Now I don't know how stubborn you're going to be, I can't make any promises or guarantees, that's everybody's own decision. But it's so simple, it says until you lose yourself, you'll never find yourself. Until you stop swinging back and forth from one end of the pendulum, from honesty to dishonesty, and join them in together as a light, and bring them into the center so there is no longer the two opposites, and there's an explosion, and it creates a sun, and it shines... on you... you will always be in the struggle. And the sign of Buddha is, he is a very well stated being. He is not rich, but he's carrying a bag full of gold as heavy as his body can carry, because he is a sun carrying around the wisdom of creation. And that's prosperity... from the east, as an example of it. He always gives what he receives, is what that symbol is about. He's on the road, he doesn't look like he's sitting down does he? He's on the dirt road heading down the path telling everybody about the holy of holies, the secret, turning the straight line into an eternal circle. Making it a gift for yourself, losing yourself and becoming devoted to a cause of creating life. Not necessarily babies to look like you, or continuing yourself, but creating light that gives birth to all forms of life. And that's the greatest secret that anyone can learn at this stage of evolution. And there's great pretenders. They even wrote a scripture about it, it said when you walk along the Jordan river, hold on to the iron rod because you'll be able to look off to the east, and you'll see a great white tower, and there will be people with hands full of money hanging out of the tower. Have you heard that story? It's in the book of Mormon, true story, they wrote about it themselves, didn't they? Isn't that a weird story? They wrote a story about themselves, where they'd be. They said it would be a tall white building, didn't they? Did you ever hear the story? Tell them about it.

Gracey: I heard this story when I was in first grade. There were some Mormons that lived next to us, and the kids, the boys, told me this story, that you had to walk down the road...

Corky: The path, the straight and narrow path.

Gracey: And they would be holding onto the iron rod

Corky: The word of God.

Gracey: And they would be walking down, and they would look to the east or to the right and there would be a great white tower, and there would be money.

Corky: And people hanging out of the windows, so wealthy... pardon?

Cami: Laughing at them because they were trying to go back to the tree of life.

Corky: Because they were trying to go back to heaven, to God.

Cami: They were doing it their way instead.

Corky: And it's true isn't it? And they wrote it. It's on the cover of Time magazine. This week! Haven't you seen Time magazine this week? We'll take it to dinner and let everyone see it, it's about the great white tower. Mormons, Inc. It's unbelievable.

Anyway, the moral of tonight's class is... as long as you continue to allow yourself to believe that there's a straight line, you're going to swing from one end to the other. You've got to realize that all things are eternal, and there is no beginning and end. And as Christ says, one who has found the end, has found the beginning. He says that in the book of Thomas. And they join together as a circle. And then no longer are you honest or dishonest, because you no longer are you. You have lost yourself, and you have found yourself, and you've found God within you. Because that's who you really are. You're not the straight line of honesty and dishonesty, of greed and gift. You're God. But until you awaken to the consciousness of it, until you look in the mirror, and you judge yourself, until you drop it all, until you quit, you'll be in that struggle. The cold and the hot sweats, the waking up in the middle of the night, wondering what your life is about, and then trying to go back to sleep in an argument over whether you can get away with it, or you can justify it. It's a liberation, it's being reborn, because the old straight line dies and is born into the circle. Nobody's asking you to do it today, we're just talking about it. You've got lots of lifetimes to be miserable, it's ok. You've got lots of life times to try to "attain", as Osho would say. To attain. All you've got to do is fall over and it happens. To attain. You really do think Al would do a life insurance policy on you for 250,000 dollars, and have you done away, his own brother?

Lenny: Yeah. No more trust.

Corky: Hmm. Very interesting isn't it?

Lenny: Yeah, kind of a bummer.

Corky: Doesn't it make your heart heavy for him?

Lenny: Yeah, it has all week.

Corky: Hmm. Well... where are we going to eat? Anyone have a preference? Ok, well we probably ought to have a little nectar before we go. We always have the best classes when the fewest people are here. Hee hee. Goodnight.