Big Weekend

It's Called "Ducking"

November 10, 1985

Available in the KPHI Audio Library.
In a submission, there is a grand climax to it.

Now it is a very interesting thing, we know that there are a lot of paths going on, on the planet and I want to be very critical right here for just a second. I want to emphasize that all of those paths are perfect and correct for everybody who is involved in them. Although, there comes a time in your evolution when you have to get serious about doing something. It is nice to play in life. It is great. It is nice to go out there and dance in life, that is what life is about to go out and do that. But all the philosophers and saints or whatever you want to call them, if you will look at it throughout time have said at a certain point in time, you need to get involved in your total cycle. You need to get involved in doing something for the other side, when you die. If you do not make your existence a whole, but make it a partial thing, where you dance on life until the day that you die, you really are going to go on and have a hell of a time dealing with that other side. If you are not prepared for it. It is like getting ready to go skiing without skis and a parka, going nude. It is COLD out there! I am sure there are facilities for dealing with it, but it sure makes it a lot easier if you can get your whole thing together.

It is like going to work without a car. You can take the bus or hoof it, but it makes it a lot easier if you have a vehicle to arrive there in. And so I would suggest to everybody, and this is our purpose here, is to put some effort into that balance between the two: half here, half there. And your karma that you create for here turns into your existence there and the karma you create there becomes your next incarnation.

To be really honest with you, not too many people are going to be liberated; we don't have too many Buddhas walking around the planet today. I know a lot of people who really believe that they are but as long as they are involved in the majority of things on this planet, they are not going to be liberated. It is a lie. I want to meet these people who are going to transcend the body and go directly to heaven. Give me their address. I'd like to meet them. That is like saying the Earth was built in six days. Or the Earth is only six thousand years old. It is just corny. It is a real corny story. Anything is possible, but it is not very likely.

How long is it going to take you to get from here to California? Six minutes? It is possible to get from here to there in six minutes, but what is the likely hood of you getting there in six minutes. Even if you say it a lot, "I am going to get to California from here in six minutes!" You can mantra it up, rub it in, wash it around, and yet how long is it going to take you? Somewhere around eleven hours more or less.

We have to realize we are still within reality; we are not within illusion entirely. The closer we get to honesty and the reality of reality, the easier it is to deal with existence. Now there are phenomena, there is no question about that. There are phenomena that transform what we believe this reality to be. But those phenomena are within a set of laws within reality, in a stage of existence just above this one. Those laws impose themselves upon these laws here on this planet, but they only do it in particular instances, and they do not do it in very common situations. It is not an every day event, where the phenomena take place. So there are exceptions. There are laws above those laws, and laws still above those laws.

It is like doing pushups to build muscles. You get muscles by doing pushups. It's like working out. Working out your karma. Doing the work to make it work. And the longer we avoid it, or avoid doing the work within it, or putting ourselves into it, the farther away we get from it. The harder it is then, to get up and do the pushup or do the sit up. The harder it is to run around the block. The longer we say "All you have to do is look at me and I will become enlightened," instead of doing whatever is necessary to get there, whatever the hell enlightenment is... everybody has a different term for it. Some people say "well enlightenment is when I get all the Siddhi powers and I am able to cause mountains to move and everybody will line up and bow down to me." And other people say that enlightenment is knowing myself. Other people say enlightenment is knowing everything that there is to know, including what kind of flavors are down at 31 flavors and how I can formulate those to make and sell a better ice cream make a million bucks and buy a Mercedes. Everybody has a different term for what it is.

What I would say is, it is honesty. When everything gets down to a point to where it is so honest that there is no distortion and the Song of Creation sings within you and vibrates every cell of your physical being and your soul so clearly that you cannot distort it in any form at all. That you are it because you allow it there, and you let it happen rather than trying to go out grab it and make it happen, or steal it, or usurp it, or read about it, talk about it or sing about it. You let that thing go away. It takes place in stages. It doesn't normally happen over night. There are exceptions though. That is a karma thing from previous lifetimes when it happens overnight, so there really are no exceptions. It looks like an exception but it comes bit by bit by bit, by being there with it and putting all your emphasis on it and allowing it to happen.

Ron, you call me up and say to me, "I don't know what the hell is going on. I meet all these people and I don't know if I am more honest than them or if they are more honest than me." What does that mean?

Ron: I question what I am doing, I feel an understanding here, but...

Corky: What does that mean?

Ron: I get in contact with people interested in evolving and they have a completely different path and they are working very hard at it in a different way, and I can see the total validity in it, and I don't really know how honest I am. Because sometimes people get really honest with me about things and I go "Wow! God! They are looking at it more intently than I am." I have insights, but sometimes it seems like there is always a hell of a lot more I could be doing.

Corky: Are you saying to me that they have devoted all of their life to it, and you are only devoting 95%? 80%? 75%? 60? 30?

Ron: No. I don't feel like in all honesty, where I am coming from that I put a lot into it at all. Not even 15%.

Corky: What you are saying then, is that these people are really involved in their spiritual evolution and you feel inadequate because you are not putting as much involvement in as them. That's where your honesty comes from. These guys are giving their whole lives and are ready to jump off a cliff for it, and you are at a point where you don't know if you are ready to dive off a cliff for it. Is that what you are saying?

Ron: Sometimes. I meet all sorts of people, but sometimes I meet someone that is really honestly looking to find themselves. Given the right opportunity I feel that some of them would really devote their life to it, and I feel I've been given a real opportunity and have flaunted a lot of my efforts on my own butt and I haven't given it.

Corky: So you feel guilty for taking care of yourself versus doing something else for Creation when you see other people doing a little more in their path on the way to creation.

Ron: There is really not something you judge it on, by how much other people are doing, some sort of a gauge, it's just something I feel inside of me about how much I'm not getting done, how much time I waste, how much time I piddle away on a thousand little things in order to not face getting something major done.

Corky: Did you ever get concerned about that before you came here?

Ron: No

Corky: So you came here and got a concern. Why did you get concerned? Did you see things that all of the sudden became reality where before they were just words in a book?

Ron: Yes. I spent a lot of years listening to different gurus or reading books they wrote, went to different churches, practiced different meditations — they have all played a part in my life. But I have gone through things sitting in this building, when the conversation wasn't even about what I was going through, that allowed me to see the game I was playing. That what I thought I was doing on a real honest basis, trying to help my fellow man so to speak, and be a leader and help and be the strong person, was really being very dishonest. My real intentions were to be set apart. To set myself apart from them, as being more than they are, and I was causing them a lot of disharmony within themselves, because I was trying to become some point up here... for them all to strive for, and it was causing a lot of distortion for them, because everybody was exactly where they were supposed to be in their life and that I was really putting on a real show. Was really dishonest! I have been doing this in various forms, and am still doing this, my whole life. Seeing it really hurts because the people that relate to me, or that I spend time with, people I care about and love, so the people I am damaging the most are those I love the most.

Corky: Why did you want to be separate or apart?

Ron: I didn't feel I could be accepted for what I was. If I got really honest with the nakedness of my inadequacies, and my fears, and my wants and desires that people would not like me. That I wouldn't be loved.

Corky: Why do you want to be loved?

Ron: I don't know. Lonely I guess.

Corky: Aren't you talking about what happens to everyone? They become an individualized identity and they want to get back to the Whole? And you were trying to get back to the whole in the opposite way?

Ron: I thought by being the biggest hauncho was the way back, to get a lot of stuff in my head, be able to do lots of things, do meditation, inspire other people to do what I am doing. It was a real trip, and I was really convinced that was the way to do it. I spent my whole life in that direction. Seeing that I was going in the opposite direction of where I intended to go, wow, it was intense. It was very difficult to deal with for a lot of months. I was still in the habit of being the way I was. It was very sad, really devastating. I still do that, I still catch myself.

Corky: A lot of people at this point are saying "Why in the world is Ron up there beating himself down? He should tell himself how good he is." Don't most groups sit around and tell each other how good they are? Calling it positive thinking. Let's tell ourselves a big lie instead of finding out where we are at, so we can go forward. Let's tell ourselves a big lie, how perfect we are, that our farts don't stink and that we have no cavities, we don't burp and we never lie, and all of those kinds of things. It would just be a big lie.

What this place says here, or what Ron is saying, is that he is moving towards a point in the center to find himself so he can fucking get on with it and move forward. Because until you find out where your key and your steering wheel are, you are not going to get your car started and moving down the road. The only thing that is valid to you is your path. Everybody else's path is perfect. It is exactly where they need to be. Does it make any difference though if they are honest or dishonest about it?

Ron: Yes, because it delays it. The longer you can manage to keep yourself convinced that having control over people, or not seeing the honesty from where you are really coming from inside of yourself, you can't really ever open your heart to where they are at.

Corky: What we need to realize is that everything is under the law of cause and effect and karma. It's very funny this cause and effect we are in. Usually I don't laugh very much except for in silence, I usually have a headache. But we really have to laugh about life.

So, is everybody ready for Christmas, it is coming up really quick. Christmas is such a fun time! We put up all these lights along the fence around Christmas. You know the little ones where if one of the lights go out, sometimes they all go out. I go outside and stick bulbs in there because I get a real argument on when one of the strings of lights go out. Like it becomes the worst thing in the world, there could be ten thousand people dying in Ethiopia but the most important thing to me is whether the lights are working on the fence. Now, isn't that sort of corny? Isn't that ridiculous? I go out there and I could spend hours out there pulling out the light and sticking another one in. I've done it in blizzards before. I've gotten up at 2:00 in the morning, looked out the window and saw a string of lights out , and I get so concerned that I run and get the bulbs and go out there and start sticking in bulbs. I look up and there is a big storm coming down, standing in six inches of snow, 30 degrees below zero, and all these people are over starving to death in another country! I mean how stupid can you be?! Why couldn't I be going out grilling hamburgers and mailing them to those people? Does anybody else do anything like that at all?

What if all the people that were driving up and down the road suddenly went away and there were no longer people out there at all? How important would the lights be then? Let's say you were the only person on the whole planet, no animals, no people on the planet anywhere, just you, all alone, would you put up a Christmas tree? Or do you think if we each had our own planet, and we were all alone on that planet, and we walked around on the planet, do you think we would worry about Christmas? Do you think we might start looking to nature, we'd walk out into the forest and we would look at the trees, and we would look at the fruit and then that would be what we begin to worship, rather than the other people? We would start doing things for the trees? We might dig around the trees, pick the bugs off the fruit, cut off a dead limb, stuff like that rather than worry about putting up lights?

Are our lives involved in entertaining the people around us?

Are our energies expended to make other people happy, so they will make us happy?

Do we cater to the world and are we in the world and that is our god?

Or do we put our energies into something beyond the people?

Around here we love sex. It is the hottest thing going on the planet! It is just fantastic.

That is why we have two penises and yanis on the altar. Creation is sex. That is what it is. It is total-ness and nothingness coming together into a union, in a giant orgasm and exploding causing the big bang, creating the cosmos. A climax into existence: that is what we are. So how can you go away from sex? It's dancing on the ceiling, and dancing on the wall. It is the greatest!

What we get caught in though, is we turn our attention towards the sexual parts of our bodies, and we orbit around that in our life. Because we think that is the only place where sex is.

Sex is in your heart! It goes voom. voom. voom. voom. Blood comes into it, and out of it. It goes in, and out. In and out.

Sex is in your mind. Thoughts come in and out. In and out. Sex is under your hood, the pistons go in and out. In and out. When they get to the point of climax, they explode and a great energy is created and moves your car forward. Sex is in the space shuttle when it explodes into a giant climax off of the planet and goes into orbit. It is a giant orgasm; it goes into orbit and floats around the planet. Because of the amount of energy to blast it off the earth. It is like the euphoria you experience in sex. That is what life is. Life is sex.

What we do though is allow ourselves to be caught up in the play of it and the dance of it, and at the same time you avoid it. Because we think that if we avoid it, it becomes more special and so we get dishonest about it, and we cheat on it, and we lie about it and we distort it. They call that adultery. We adulterate creation, rather than telling it exactly like it is.

We put the wax on the penis part of our car, which is the front end, the hood that is the penis end. Wax it all up, make it pretty and shiny so when we go down the road everyone looks at our car, and we look to see who is looking at us! I see people all the time looking around to find out who is looking at them in their phallic symbol going down the freeway. It is all painted up, it's all dressed up, has on the nicest perfume, the clothes, the designs to attract the other humanoids around them, so they can all join in a big pile together. Now there is nothing wrong with any of this. Really!

All I am talking about here is the placement of consciousness. Sex is divine. It is creation. It is us, that is what we are! But why do we allow ourselves to pick the bottom of the pile of it? Why do we allow ourselves to be in it in such a dishonest way? Insecurities? Fear of rejection? Fear of looking at what really has a hold of our attention.

We are told that sex is bad from the time we are little. Don't touch it!! Don't touch it or hair will grow on the palm of your hand.

We have sex here in classes, an intellectual sex back and forth, an intercourse of mind, an intercourse of consciousness, a unity of bonding together of souls, an orgasm of spirituality that takes place. There are different levels of sexual consciousness, why do we have to put it on the freeway? There is nothing wrong necessarily with putting it on the freeway, but could we put it into consciousness, the climax? Have any of you ever read a book and come to a divine aphorism or realization and have an orgasm within your mind about it? It is beautiful, an intellectual orgasm. That is the exact same thing, sex. That is the in and out, the exchange, that union of those two things coming together. It is you going inside of a concept, and inside there you are tickled inside the womb until you explode into the knowledge of what it is, and then you become it.

Why do we store all of our energies on the freeway of life? Why do we put so much effort into being accepted by the other physical bodies around us, the other humans around us? Why are we not having sex with the gods, if we really are truly on a spiritual path? If we truly are going towards what we say we are going towards. What we really say we are doing, what the words that come out of our mouths say we are involved in, what we feel within ourselves that we are on some spiritual path trying to find our way, or we found our way or we are meditating, why aren't we having sex with the gods? How many gods have you had sex with lately?

Yes we can say everybody is god, and that god is within everybody. The god in the other person you are having sex with, is a person. It is a paradox. But don't really get caught up in believing that just because this person is part of god that they are all of what can be. That is a distortion to be honest with you. And it is a really well professed distortion in the metaphysical world today.

Have you ever seen anybody that you would not want to touch? Do you think there are degrees within people, and that a union with a person that you did not want to touch or a person that you did want to touch would be different? Do you think it is possible that there is higher consciousness of something similar to a god that is not here in the flesh that you may want to have a union, not necessarily a physical but spiritual union with? Have any of you heard of prayer? How many of you here have gotten down on your knees, given your life and your heart and your soul to god, whichever god it is? Is that called submission?

That is called "I'll take it. I submit to it." In a submission, there is a grand climax to it. Isn't that what sex is? Aren't they the same thing? A prayer and intercourse with god is sex. All of us have both male and female in us and we lay down ourselves and we allow god to come inside of us and have an orgasm together. But as long as we are out there holding our legs together and saying "Nobody is going to touch it! I am doing my own thing on the planet, and nobody is going to get near it." It becomes impossible to have an orgasm with god because nobody is going to touch you within. I'm not talking about the physical body here. Nobody is going to touch your soul inside. You keep saying "No one, nothing, or no energy, or no god is going to enter within me and there have an orgasm with my heart, or my soul inside. I am my own person and no one is going to direct me. Nothing is going to direct me. I am the master of my destiny." You are the master of your destiny although it is nice to have Creation as your partner, or as your lover.

Is there any man that can fulfill you more than you can fulfill yourself? Is there any woman that can fulfill you more than you can fulfill yourself? Alternately, is there any feeling, or any energy that can overwhelm you? If you allow it to be, Creation can overwhelm you and be with you, but there is no person that can do it. And what we are doing is looking to people for the answer. We are looking to people and physical things on the planet for the answers to our destiny and our peace and our fulfillment and our existence rather than to Creation, or to a god. I am not talking about a person god. I am talking about a creation god, a force, an energy that doesn't have a personality, a union with the universe. It does not come in the name of a person. It does not come down the block at so-and-so's church, it does not happen or at so-and-so's house, or it doesn't happen at guru so-and-so's commune. It comes inside everybody. It is something that everybody does personally, and it has nothing to do with other people. It is a force or an energy that makes us. All we are is an effect, and a distortion of it. It's a very interesting thing as we go through the highway or our lifetime we get so secure in existence by the love that we have for other people and being with them that we allow ourselves to fall into an illusion where we believe our existence depends upon them in that situation. Then as you are taken away from it, it is like taking and breaking a magnet in half. A de-bonding takes place. A crisis comes about because of the de-bonding of the two. Sort of like as we have climax in sex, we orbit and we are there, but there is always a de-bonding that takes place from behind the climax or the orbit that we are in. We have to eventually come back to the planet. We come out of the euphoria back to landing on the planet. The de-bonding is traumatizing to the extent that the euphoria was so beautiful. It is the swing of the pendulum.

From the euphoria we swing back down to the planet into a landing, which makes it very difficult. There is an old saying "Everything that goes up must come down." Or everything that goes down must come up. That one sounds better! Have you ever been down before? You have always come back up.

The real interesting thing about existence is that when we let ourselves move to the total-ness and nothingness in intercourse in creation that comes out in the big bang, we can see both sides of it at the same time. In it's clarity we can, at the onset, understand the high and know the low. At the onset. Rather than going into the high, and being paralyzed by the low.

There is some little hermetic saying that goes something like "when you understand the laws, using your consciousness you allow the lever of the swing of the pendulum to swing by and barely clip of the top part of your head instead of the taking the whole thing as it goes by. It's called "ducking."

So as you rise to a higher state of interaction with creation rather than having it all hard in your crotch, it is not an intellectual state, it is not something you think your way through, it is a state of existence that when the pendulum swings back it just clips the top of your head rather than taking off your whole head. Or on the beach when the wave descends on you, you can dive directly through the wave and come out the other side, instead of it smashing the shit out of you on the beach. You learn how to dive through it. Rather than letting it destroy you. Pay attention.