Fire Hydrant Arguments - Part 1

June 4, 2005

Do you think it is an argument? Do you think it is rooted in the seat of "mad?"

Corky: Okay Al, we're not interested in fame, we're interested in class. Serena does that with Al Greco.

Al Martin: I know. I used to do that. I used to speak up a lot, disturb class.

Corky: For fame?

Al Martin: I can't believe I'm here in the hot seat. What do I do?

Corky: Tell us about class.

Al M: Do I ring the bell, or fill the glasses?

Corky: You don't have to ring the bell. Unless you want to.

Al M: No, I'll let you do it.

Corky: No, go ahead. It's okay. I knew you wanted to! You were just playing hard to get right?

Al M: I think Corky is having me sit here because I was talking to him earlier about the "no-mind" and how it is true that you get to a point where you realize that you are not your thoughts, and you are not all these illusions that your mind creates. That there is something behind that and that is who you are. And that's what I told him the other day. You are right, I've discovered that. It's something that you can never discover through the mind. It makes sense; it has to be out of the mind. Otherwise throughout the eon's people would be enlightened, but only a handful of people have been enlightened. Enlightened is a word, kind of a dumb word. But only a handful of people have realized that there is something behind the mind, and the brain, and this thing...

Corky: Can I ask a question? Could it be possible that the word "enlightenment," or whatever, came about because they are saying that an "argument" is dark? All thoughts are kind of cloudy, and if you give up all thoughts and all arguments and all those coverings and everything, that it is "light"? It's light. It's light in weight, and it is light in light.

Al M: It's light. And the brain is not your friend, you know? I mean, it creates all this stress and everything else. You would think it would be your friend, because you have to live with it. There's no escape. It's like a prison. It creates all these misconceptions and arguments and it can make your life miserable. And it's kind of ironic that it can do that to you because it is part of you. It's just ironic. And yet it has a life of its own. You have to kind of let it do its thing, otherwise, it'll show you who is boss, ya know? But every once in awhile, you can turn it off. With the word of power that Corky gives us. But it's hard. But it's hard. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. But you do get to a point where you go "Yeah, Corky is right. That's not me." That thinking brain, it's just an organ. It's just an organ, like a hand, and an arm, and a leg.

Corky: Chris likes hearing about organs.

Al M: We give our organs a rest. Everything except our brain. We give our arms rest, our legs rest, we're not always working." But we never give our mind a rest; it is always, always going. Even like Corky said; "When we are asleep it is still thinking. It's just an organ. If you want to simplify it, when you boil it down, it's just an organ. But it's always going. And I guess I don't know what the purpose of it is, and why such a simple thing as realizing that you are not your thoughts, and you are not your brain, that that's what we go to, that's the answer? It's so simple you know? Yet, so hard. Because the mind is trying to find enlightenment through the mind, and you can't do that. It's not in the mind. That's what I was telling Corky earlier. That's what I discovered. It's cool. And you can't explain that to people outside of Summum. I tried to explain it to my sister in law, and she goes; "No! You need your mind." You know Christians believe that if your mind isn't active, the devil will come in. You have to keep your mind active, that's your shield for the devil. And when you are up in the mountains enjoying the moment, your mind has to think about something in the past that you enjoyed just as beautiful as the moment, your mind has to be active all the time. It's the thing that appreciates life, and appreciates god. But I don't think it is. My mind has created a lot of trouble for me! But it's not a bad thing, on the same hand. I don't mind being with myself. I don't mind my own thoughts you know. It's not judgmental or anything. I don't mind being in prison with myself, but yet it can create all these troubles that are not necessary. You got a roof over your head, you got food on your table, and you got all these arguments about this and that. Why? And I told Corky that one time I was able to silence my mind, and I think I felt my essence and I go "WHOA!!!" That would be cool, if that was what I experienced. But it was probably an illusion; my mind probably conjured it up. Okay, I think it's been 15 minutes.

Corky: Does anybody have anything to ask Al?

Ron: Nope. I agree with him. The mind wants to have something to do.

Al M: And the funny thing is that I keep saying of all the joints, in all the towns, in all the worlds.... you know we are here. It's so weird! Just a handful of us. Su said one time "god it's a small class." And I think the smaller the class, probably the greater the experience, ya know? One of these days there is going to be a lot of people here maybe, and it's not going to be as great.

Al Greco: Do you think it's not as great because there are more collective minds that are too busy?

Al M: No. It's just I think it's better to get in at the beginning because everybody jumps on the bandwagon. You know? It's easy to jump on the bandwagon: "Oh yeah, so and so movie star is doing it, so I'm going to do it." I think it's a greater thing to be in the beginning.

Thanks a lot dude. Thanks for being a teacher. And thanks for being patient! Cause I used to sit here and argue. Everything you said I just argued and argued. And then I remember I wanted a road map to this thing you were talking about...

Corky: Why did you argue, when you think about it now? What were you? Why were you arguing? If you could fall back to it?

Al M: I remember sitting over here, and Edith was sitting over there, and everything you said she was just arguing, and I saw it. And I remember thinking, "God, I used to do that too!" I mean everything you said she was shaking her head at. All her expressions were argument, everything you said she had a counterpoint. Every point, counterpoint. And it's probably true; you could probably have a counter point to just about anything anybody says.

Corky: Why do you think? Is it something that you are protecting?

Al M: Yeah, maybe. Could be.

Corky: Do you think it's something people protect? If they have an argument they are protecting something. What were you protecting when you were arguing, your mind?

Al M: I wish I knew. I don't know. What do you protect when you argue Ron?

Ron: Me?

Al M: Maybe it's me. I wish I knew. But I argue. I've argued for a long time.

Corky: Does Chris argue?

Al M: Yes. He argues all the time.

Corky: Ask him what time he gets off work on Saturdays.

Al M: What time do you get off work on Saturdays Chris?

Chris: About 11:00.

Al M: Really? And why weren't you here today? I have an excuse, my mother came from California.

Corky: Ask him the rest of the questions, what you were going to ask him.

Al M: Why do you think you are your thoughts? That's what Corky said, that Chris thinks that he is who his thoughts are. He identifies with his thoughts; he thinks that's who Chris is. Why do you do that? Why don't you maybe see that there is another side? That maybe you are not your thoughts, and that you are not who you think you are?

Chris: Oh I know there is another side; I just keep flipping back and forth.

Al M: You keep trying to figure it out with your mind.

Chris: No. It's like a trick, you forget who you are, and then you remember who you are. Forget who you are, and then you remember who you are. And it's just the...

Al M: Would you like to find out who you really are? I think that's a cool journey. That's a cool goal to have: Who am I really? And how many people have gone down that journey with a teacher like Corky?

Corky: Al, did you know that Chris got off at 11 on Saturday?

Al Greco: I didn't know that he worked on Saturdays.

Corky: What did you think he did on Saturday?

Al G: I thought pretty much that he did work, but didn't know factually.

Corky: Why did you think that?

Al G: Because I'm not used to seeing him come over here and work.

Corky: Why do you think Chris doesn't come on Saturday?

Al G: Sometimes when he wasn't here I thought maybe he was working. That's why I wasn't positive if he worked or not.

Corky: Yeah, but why do you think he doesn't come?

Al G: If he's not working, why would he not come? Um....

Corky: He could send you a good email and tell you why. Ask him why.

Al G: Chris, how come you can send a real good email?

Chris: That's not the question. The question is why can I send a good email and not be here? I could be here. I went home. I was here yesterday. I usually go home after work and take a nap, do some things. I could start coming here after work, and nap before class. I could do that.

Al M: You've been given an assignment, and I'm the last one to talk about this because I'm really irresponsible, but you've been given an assignment to do the torch thing. And you do a lot of stuff, but I guess the torch thing is a like a metaphor, it's something greater, but you never do it. It's a symbol of something greater, cause you do the cats and the peacocks and stuff, but that one job that you've been given, you haven't done.

Chris: Fire scares me. But I could start doing the torch thing. I need someone to help me get those things in the ground, because I'm really clumsy physically. It's hard to get it in. You need two people on each side to get the stake in the ground, so the torch won't fall over and burn down anything.

Corky: Do you think there is more to the story than what Chris is telling us? Su, what would you say is the more to the story? You have to be real honest. Chris is not going to hear you - honest! Tell everybody else, except for Chris.

Su: Chris doesn't want to look at himself. And lighting the torches....

Chris: Illumination huh?

Su: Yes. And you want to steer down every other road that you can.

Corky: Do you think that Chris would spend more time finding a reason not to do something than it would take to do it, Bernie? I mean, do you think he could spend more time finding a reason, and discussing why not to do it, than it would take just to do it? How much more time, ten times more time?

Bernie: A thousand times. He could stretch it as long as you wanted to. Anybody could.

Corky: Have you ever seen anybody do that? Find reasons why not to do something? And it might only take one minute to actually do it. But they could spend days thinking of reasons why not to do it, right? What do you think that is, in people? Do your students do that Su? When someone comes, and you say, "God, you only need to practice for fifteen minutes a day." And they spend the whole hour of class telling you excuses and reasons why they couldn't do it for that fifteen minutes, right?

Su: Yes. Or they think of some question to ask that they think will get me side tracked.

Corky: Off the subject and avoid it and stuff like that, let's talk about this instead of the real thing. Have you ever seen people do that Al Martin?

Al M: Yeah. I do it. We just have no control over it seems like, what we do or think or say.

Corky: Do you think it is an argument? Do you think it is rooted in the seat of "mad?" That people get mad? Upset? Do you think people get upset ever Cami? Do you think that they get mad? What happens when they get mad?

Cami: Then suddenly everything sucks and everyone is an asshole. There's an argument for everything.

Corky: And they could spend their whole life arguing about something that's so ridiculous huh? But it's a good reason to be mad, to stay mad. It's an excuse to be mad? Because you want to be mad, right? So you need a reason to be mad, and if you don't have a reason to be mad, then you can't be mad right?

Cami: Oh, you can make one up!

Corky: Yeah. You can make it up. It's their fault. It's that thing over there that did it. Did anybody see Chris's emails about the bird bowl that I sent to everybody? Was it funny? Do you think Chris could have spent a couple of weeks writing things about the sprinklers versus just figuring it out?

Chris: I didn't know what to do. I didn't even know what it was. I thought it was a sprinkler! Could you imagine what I would have done trying to repair something I didn't even know what it was?

Corky: Do you think Chris finds reasons why not to do something or figure something out Al? Have you ever seen anybody do that?

Chris: What should I have done, god!?

Corky: No, I mean do you think that people do that in life?

Al G: People do that, yes. It's very common.

Corky: It's very common. They find reasons why not to do something, or why not to figure it out, or why not to learn it. Do your students do that Su? They figure reasons out why not to, like you just said a minute ago, they want to talk about something else, versus the reality of how to push the key up and down?

Su: That way they don't have to be responsible for it.

Corky: Right. They don't have to be responsible. All you have to do is take your finger, and go boink, that's the note right there. But let's talk about that over here and how hard it is. How many people does it take to push the key? One on each side? Because it's a tough key right?

Su: Yes. It's hard to depress.

Corky: And you have to have three people sometimes, tutoring you to make sure that you know how to press the key!

Al G: But it goes back to what Al Martin was talking about. It goes back to the mind set of being in control, doing it in its way - the mind's way.

Corky: Your way. I want to do it MY way. Is that a real good one Cami? People want to do it their way?

Cami: Yes. I will actually have arguments about things I know I need to do, or if somebody tells me to do something, and it doesn't matter who they are, but as soon as they say, "This is what you need to do; you need to get out of bed in the morning, and you need to brush your teeth, and you need to shower." I'm suddenly in my head saying, "Screw you! I'm not doing that!" Because it's not MY idea. If I feel like it's not something that I've designed for myself, then I argue about it. And I think a lot of people do that.

Corky: Nobody is going to tell you what to do! Right? Or even make a suggestion.

Cami: It's really a struggle.

Corky: As soon as they make a suggestion it gets harder doesn't it? It gets a weight on it. Sort of like fishing line that drags you to the bottom of the ocean right?

Cami: Yeah, it becomes weighted. And it's something that I really struggle with. I think a lot of people do. It makes sense to me, because I've struggled with it, and I've seen other people struggle with the same thing. And it is that mind wanting to have control.

Al G: Kind of like: "I'll decide what I want to do. Don't decide for me." Because then there is an external control.

Corky: How does that "S" word get involved in this whole thing?

Al G: Surrender?

Corky: Oh, that word! Yeah. How does that get involved in there?

Al G: Well, that's the process.

Corky: No, that's the dangerous word. Because if Cami entertained surrender, then you have a problem, right Cami? Then you wouldn't be able to argue.

Cami: It's so much easier to not argue. Because you have to keep an argument alive. You have to feed it, and you have to nurture it, and tell it things to motivate it, and keep it going, and keep it alive. But when you surrender, there's just no...

Corky: It dies?

Cami: Yeah. I mean, it takes a fraction of the time and energy and effort to just let it go and just be, than to argue about it and fight and kick and scream and make an ass of yourself the entire time. And then deal with it later, because you look back on it and see how you acted, and are stunned.

Corky: Did anybody see how Al wants to argue about doing the filming the other night? Did everybody see that argument in emails? Did you think you had a little bit of an argument on there?

Al G: I didn't think that I did, no.

Corky: Did anybody read the emails? Did he have an argument on? It's hard to say straight out on the first sentence, "I knew better, I shouldn't have done it, and I won't do it again." It's really hard to say that, isn't it Shad, why? Because it's sort of like copying your ego huh?

Shad: Yeah.

Corky: It's copying your ego. It's sort of like saying "I'm a nothing. I'm a nobody." I mean, you've got to have some kind of position.

Shad: And there's always an excuse.

Corky: There's got to be some kind of position going on or, I mean, you lose your ego. And if you lose your ego, you don't have a position, what do you got? You got nothin'! You're in the nothing! So you have to have a position right? It doesn't make any difference, even if it's just standing on one toe or on your nose, like a yoga position. Gotta get a yoga position on. I got a yoga position on!

Su: Steve tried to do his yoga position and look what he got! Sorry Steve!

Steve: I tried to stand on my teeth!

Corky: I think the girl is worse off! You should have seen her. You were right there, did you see it Bernie? She went right over and bam into the ground. She had this huge knot on her head.

Bernie: She was on top of him, and all the sudden she was on her back on the other side.

Al M: Does it hurt to smile Steve?

Su: He's working that tooth with his tongue I can tell.

Corky: He's remembering. It feels weird until you get it fixed. Don't worry Steve you'll be well next week. Did you feel any kind of argument at all Al Greco, about the movie thing? It was my fault because I called Serena a movie actress.

Al G: It's nobody's fault.

Corky: Now, wait a second. That's what you said in the email. You said that I set it up because I said Serena was a movie actress.

Al G: It was cause and effect, that's all I was saying.

Corky: That's what I'm saying. You said it was my fault. I was causing an effect because I was the one that started it, and you got trapped by it right?

Al G: Yeah.

Corky: Did Serena hold your hand while you guys were doing the movie?

Al G: No. She wasn't even around, and then all of the sudden she was right there.

Corky: I know, but when she was right there was she holding your hand?

Al G: No!

Corky: Was she pressing her titties on you?

Su: In a sense, in a sense.

Corky: Was she? Did she look at you?

Al G: Yeah.

Corky: Did you feel her look at you? What did you feel when she looked at you?

Al G: I felt that she ought to keep her mouth shut. When she talked about the glue, I kept waiting for somebody on the sideline to get the gaff and pull her away.

Corky: How come you didn't do it, instead of somebody on the sideline?

Al G: Because to me, it was not an interview. It was answering the question he asked "Is that really a cat?"

Corky: No. I mean, what was the thing on the other side of you and Serena looking at you?

Al G: The guy and the camera.

Corky: Oh! There was a camera! Did it have a microphone on it?

Al G: Yeah.

Corky: Like those kind they have when they do interviews here?

Al G: Yeah.

Corky: Oh. But that one wasn't a camera and microphone that does interviews. That was a different kind? It was a plastic one?

Al G: All I'm trying to say is, it wasn't, they didn't get my name, they didn't ask me questions.

Corky: Did they get a picture of our mummified cat?

Al G: Yeah.

Corky: Did they get a picture of you? Did they get a picture of our building?

Al G: Probably, yeah.

Corky: Did they get a picture of Serena? Did they get sound?

Al G: Yeah. Yeah.

Corky: Did they get evidence? Were you there, or were you at home? So they got evidence.

Al Martin: Corky said, he is kind of dancing around it a bit, but he said "How would you like it if I went to your home, and not knowing really all about your ins and outs and all the little crannies, got in front of a camera and said 'Yeah, I know what this home is all about and who Al is.'"

Al G: Yeah. I understand the philosophy of all of that, but it was just a show and tell. It didn't seem official to me. It was a show and tell.

Al M: I think the guy had a camera for his own personal use. It appeared that's what he was doing.

Al G: Exactly. He said, hey I got a camera, can I go get it?

Corky: The guy here was a director. He sat next to me and told me he was a movie director. The kid on the floor was working for him, and the kid with the camera was working for him too.

Al G: He didn't act that way.

Corky: Of course he didn't. That's how they get their show. It's the paparazzi act. The enquirer wants to know about this. Anyway, all I'm talking about is arguments. It's interesting, when it's somebody else, it's an argument. I mean, when it's somebody else, it is an argument, but when it's you, it's not an argument. Right Al Martin? For example, with you let's just say, I'm going to pick on you for just a second okay? I know why they let you go at work. It's Serena's fault, right? No, it's Cami's fault. It's probably Chris's fault. No, it's Ron's fault, do you see the way he's laying there on the couch like that? That must be why they let you go at work. If Ron were paying attention to you, you would have been more alert at work. Therefore, if you were more alert at work you would have been able to not be there the day they laid everybody off, and you wouldn't be without a job. But see, he's not paying attention so it's his fault.

Al M: Yeah.

Corky: I know it's all under destiny you guys, but everybody is involved in destiny. And when it comes down to something that deals with "you" and your "self," it is difficult to look at it. Wouldn't you say? That's where it comes in and makes the argument, right Cami? When it comes in and says you have to take a shower and you have to brush your teeth, you've gotta do this and you've gotta do that. If you don't do this with Shekinah she's going to turn out to be a bug killer. So it's your fault right? So you're a bad mother because she's a bug killer?

Cami: Yup.

Corky: And it's probably Shad's fault in reality because he taught her how to kill the bugs right?

Cami: It's always somebody else's fault when you are arguing.

Corky: Well, it's about you. It doesn't make any difference how big or small the argument is, right? So Al has a little tiny thing on about that incident with the camera guy, doesn't he?

Cami: Yeah.

Corky: And you have one about somebody telling you to do things or something like that. And Shad's in trouble because he taught Shekinah how to kill bugs. And at the same time today when he took her out to Stan's he probably taught her something else bad!

Cami: Exactly. He'll get it later!

Corky: When she was under his tutelage.

Al M: What were you saying exactly when you were talking about arguments?

Corky: I think Isha Schwaller said when someone talks to your - what does she say for the word essence? - spiritual witness, you don't have an argument on if your spiritual witness can hear, because you are not thinking. But if they talk to your permanent witness, you have an argument on. Because they are talking to your mind and your ego. But if you are silent enough and you can hear them with your spiritual witness, then there is no argument because the spiritual witness can't argue. All it can do is hear, because it can't think. It doesn't have a thinker involved. I'll trade you spots Al, and talk about that.

The nectar is gold, it looks like it has gold in it doesn't it? Wow, that really is pretty. What was the story about the cave, Chris?

Chris: That sounds familiar! I don't remember it.

Corky: You were here Thursday night weren't you? With all the people that showed up?

Chris: Yeah, I was here.

Corky: Ok. Tell us about the cave.

Chris: Was it out of the book, or was it something mentioned outside of class? Was it something that was mentioned in the book?

Su: That was the total chapter.

Chris: Really? Oh yeah. I didn't listen. During the whole Opening of the Way, I did not listen to that book at all. I didn't like listening to it. I like listening to Osho and some other books, but I have a real problem listening to what's her name, Schwaller.

Corky: What would you say the story of the cave was Bernie?

Bernie: The story of the cave is the story we're talking about: taking a look at the argument.

Corky: Taking notice of the argument. That was the story of the cave? Do you think that Chris believes that he doesn't argue?

Bernie: He might believe that he's justified in his argument.

Corky: Oh, that's always true. But do you think there is a small part of him that thinks that he doesn't argue? Why?

Bernie: Yeah. Because it disturbs his self image.

Corky: And it would be threatening? Shad, why don't you turn off the woofer, so it isn't humming? How about I turn off this one up here, there that's better. Who's responsible to turn off the woofer?

Shad: I am.

Corky: I thought that you would notice it.

Shad: You know I did notice it, when I was turning on the mikes. I walked by and it sounded like the air pump for the fish tank we have at home. I've never heard it here before. But I really didn't think it was on.

Corky: I think it's been on since Thursday. Whoever ran it on Thursday didn't turn it off.

Shad: I ran it on Thursday but I never turned it on! It's my fault. I should have noticed the light.

Corky: You didn't hear it? I was waiting for you to say something. I can't hear, I'm old and I could hear it. It was pretty loud don't you think? Here, let's turn it back on and see how loud it is. It's a really deep hum. Okay, let's turn it back off. Pretty amazing huh, wow!

Chris: It's that sounds fault that I didn't come earlier today.

Corky: You never come on Saturday afternoon. How come?

Chris: I like Friday better. I'll come on both days. You're right. I should do it. Can I still get a nap before class?

Corky: Of course! I thought you volunteered to do the torches!

Chris: Yes. I did. I am like a caveman, I'm afraid of fire.

Corky: Cavemen aren't afraid of fire, they love fire.

Chris: When it was first discovered, they were scared.

Corky: They loved it! They were happy to have it. It kept them warm. Don't you remember being a caveman? Wouldn't you like fire, if you didn't have fire?

Chris: If I start coming on Saturday, will Victor maybe jump on my lap one day?

Corky: Anything is possible.

Chris: I want a written guarantee.

Corky: So the story of the cave was?

Bernie: Looking at the argument, looking at yourself.

Corky: Just sort of summarize the story real quickly for Chris, since he doesn't like listening to the book.

Bernie: The story of the cave is the "S" word. Surrender.

Corky: What does it say sort of?

Bernie: Let it go, so you can take a look.

Su: Silence your mind.

Corky: If you silence your mind, what happens?

Shad: You start listening.

Corky: Because that's all you can do right? But if your mind is thinking, like I've said to everybody in class on Thursday night, can they hear? Why?

Shad: Because the only thing you are listening to are your own thoughts, in your own mind.

Corky: Like if Su read something, and they started thinking about it, could they hear the stuff that she was reading after that, clearly and purely the way it was being presented?

Shad: No. Even if you're reading it yourself, and you start thinking, you don't remember what you just read.

Corky: Because you are not there in what you are reading. You are in another place. Your attention is not in listening. Your attention is in thinking about the past. Because when you are thinking, it is always about the past. Because you can't think about the present, you can only listen in the present. The minute you start thinking, you go to the past. Because being in the present is always in listening. Because it is totally silent, right Al? If you think at all, you've drawn yourself to something from the past. If one thought comes into your mind, you are not in the present, you are in the past. So is it possible, like the Buddhas say, that you can be in a thoughtless mind and still live? Do you think that you could perform an action like put a torch in the ground, and step on it, and not think? And light it, and not think? Do you think it would be easier? Why would it be easier?

Al M: A lot easier. Because your mind can exhaust you, so that you have no energy to put the torch in. You have more energy if you are not thinking. Thinking is exhausting.

Corky: Because your mind burns most of your energy, that's where most of your food is used, in the thinking process. Would you say it is dangerous for most people to believe that they can't think about it? They believe it's dangerous?

Al M: Oh yeah. You always have to be on guard.

Corky: Why do you have to be on guard? Someone might talk you into coming over after you have taken a nap, after getting off work to do something right? And you have to have a reason to position things so that they come out in the way that your mind thinks is best for you? Do you think Chris put any effort into his answer about the sprinkler Bernie? It was at least two paragraphs wasn't it?

Bernie: Yes, he put effort into it.

Corky: Do you think he enjoyed it?

Bernie: Yeah.

Corky: He must have enjoyed it, or he wouldn't have done it. Do you think Chris enjoys arguing?

Bernie: I think he finds himself in the argument.

Corky: Do you think he finds pleasure in arguing about women? About the appropriate milieu and the appropriate woman? That's where any thinking about it in his mind and pleasure comes in.

Bernie: Dueling and jousting.

Corky: Why would he do that Shad?

Shad: I don't know. It seems like an argument, and like Bernie was saying, you find yourself, you define yourself with it. It feels like a security to be able to argue.

Corky: Do you think that Chris - and Chris is just the "Chrises" of the world - has a definition of appropriate things? Like Wild Oats is appropriate, right? He's told us that hasn't he? Why is it appropriate? Because it's more appropriate than Smiths?

Shad: Apparently yeah.

Corky: I bet it's more appropriate than Callie Max. That's a store that Bernie likes going to.

Bernie: It would be more appropriate than the parking lot in the back. It's in Tijuana.

Chris: May I ask a favor to help me with the class? Is that okay?

Corky: Sure. What is it? Would you like to go to the bathroom?

Chris: I have a favor to ask. I keep getting saliva by the time the glass gets to me. Could I have a little sip of the nectar to help me with the class? By the time it gets to me all that's left is saliva at the bottom of the glass.

Corky: Yes you may, but only if Cami drinks half of it first.

Cami: You're on.

Chris: Thank you, I appreciate it.

Corky: Do you like female saliva? Or do you prefer male?

Chris: Let me drink this first before I answer.

Corky: No, wait a second. Would you prefer female, over male saliva?

Chris: You mean to have it in me?

Corky: To drink it out of the glass! Which would you prefer to drink, male saliva or female saliva?

Chris: I probably have prejudice; I probably would prefer female saliva.

Corky: You like drinking female saliva?

Chris: I probably do.

Corky: You and Bill Percelli would get along really well. You know who that is right? This guy's dad made motor homes.

Chris: How much of this stuff should I drink?

Corky: Not too much. You don't want to get too much saliva.

Cami: I backwashed. Just for you Chris.

Corky: It's like putting your tongue in their mouth.

Al G: You are making out with Shad's wife! You are frenchin' Cami!

Corky: Shad are you jealous?

Shad: No. I like watching!

Corky: It might go the other way - they might not be able to drink what you are giving.

Chris: That's possible! God I feel worthless tonight!

Corky: Ron has lips that are very clean. Ron doesn't do any backwashing, and he has no saliva. See how clean his mouth is, and his teeth? He knows how to drink out of the glass, see watch. His lips close, and nothing goes back into the cup. He knows how to drink.

How does it feel on your tooth Steve? It's okay? That was good tequila last night wasn't it? Shad, take a close up with the camera of Steve, we have to get this for posterity before you get it fixed Steve. You'll have it fixed next week! You're a good sport Steve. Look at that spot on his head, that's where it hit the concrete!

Steve: It's all Corky's fault. He got me drunk.

Corky: I heard this pop, "pop, pop." He hit first and then she slid across his back and hit her head.

Ron: That's because she drove him right into the fucking ground!

Steve: Yeah.

Corky: Hey, this chick was big, let me tell you! She was big. Goll all these women these days like being big! They're all 19 or 20 years old and they are big. These were big girls! Steve got pictures of all of it. I'd like to see the one that road you into the dirt.

Chris: Why was the class about me tonight? Jesus!

Corky: It was my fault. I got Steve drunk, right?

Su: Corky didn't drink anything, so Steve drank it all.

Corky: I made him a nice drink before we left didn't I Steve?

Steve: Yeah. It was a pint of Jack Daniels.

Corky: How much did you think she weighed?

Steve: Light as a feather I guess, because I thought I could jump over a fire hydrant with her on my back!

Corky: Hey, these were not small fire hydrants in Park City! She had to be heavier than 200. I saw her break a table in half. Let's take a break.