September 27, 2005
What you are doing today is what you are going to be doing tomorrow.
I wanted to let you guys know why people aren't here for classes, is because you tell them the truth and they get pissed. Or you tell them something they don't want to hear. They wear their ego on their face, and they don't want to lose face.
There were some really good sections in The Book of Mirdad that we're reading, so I thought I would do them because they were so good. I talked about some of this in class. You know, it's unbelievable, the people who need to hear it the most are never here. Maybe the people in the future will listen to the tapes. Who knows. Maybe no one will ever hear them, because everybody is sort of doing the same thing they did yesterday. I don't know how you could tell that story. That what you are doing today is what you are going to be doing tomorrow.
Kay said something once that is really interesting. She said, "It is only sort of logical that when you die in this life, you don't wake up in your next life as a giraffe. Or if you are a giraffe and you die as a giraffe, you don't usually wake up in your next life as a human being." Not usually. Unless there is something dramatic that happens in the in between and you decide to go the giraffe way or human kind, or maybe something else. There really are no magic pills, you guys.
Is Steve working or is he pissed too?
Bernie: I have no idea. I think this was his Ormus workshop weekend.
Corky: I think something that really pissed him off, is that Lenny cured his toenail fungus with Merh. I told him not to tell anybody about that, so he posted it on the Psyberbation board. As soon as I asked him not to do it, he did it anyway. I told Lenny that it must be the placebo effect that made it work! Most people get cured that way, because they believe it is going to happen.
Everybody ought to go to an expo for the miracle cures; white gold, miracle vibrations, pictures of your aura, put a pyramid on your head and your brain turns into a ball, you get x-ray vision, you can jump six lifetimes forward by drinking Dead Sea water. Anyway, you can waste your life away on searching for that. Let's get back to the book.
"With so much to love, and to be loved by, is not Niranda's life too full for any idle dreams and thoughts to nest and hatch therein?"
She was saying, look at all those wonderful things in life that love you out there. You look upon the sun, it shines back its love for you, the flowers love you because they shine on you. All these things loving Niranda, how could he start thinking and create thoughts in his mind and allow them to nest and hatch inside the nest?
Chris: Someone tells you at some point it is not enough.
Corky: What's not enough? You have to think and create fantasies?
(reading again) "Man is a darling of the universe. All things are glad to pamper him. But few are the men who are not spoiled by such pampering. And fewer still are the men who do not bite the hand that pampers them."
Wow. Has anybody ever been mean to someone who is nice to them? Shad:, do you ever come home from work and just because you've had a bad day, jump on Cami's thing and blame her for something, and you bite her?
Corky: You do? And then she pampers you some more?
Shad:: Well, not right then.
Corky: But later she pampers you? And she had been pampering you and you come home and abuse her? Why?
Shad:: Yeah. Cause I'm stuck in my thing, because I'm caught up in my own thing.
Corky: You are holding your thing? With both hands or just one hand?
Shad:: Depends, sometimes it's one, sometimes it's two.
Corky: And you take it out on Cami? Sometimes you don't even say it, you just vibe her. Sometimes you throw it off on Shekinah too because she's close by. Boy, what a paragraph that is. Can you believe that? Men are so spoiled that when they come home they beat up on their spouse, or their roommate or whatever. Good thing Bernie doesn't have a cat or a dog or anything like that. I guess that's as far as we got in the book on Thursday. Unbelievable.
Anyway, I typed up something this morning at 3:00 when Jesse got me out of bed.
We're going to do a little game called under the ark. What we're going to ask everybody to do is put both feet flat on the floor. You can't cross your hands, put one hand on each leg, and you have to close your eyes. You have to relax for a second. Try to meditate and stop thinking for just a second.
This is the game under the ark in the pyramid. Close your eyes, and when I ask a question, please raise one thumb for yes, and don't raise anything if the answer is no. You are not going to open your eyes. Take a deep breath, blow it out, and be real silent for a second and listen to nothing. Stop your mind and relax. You are under the ark.
Have any of you, since April of 2005, taken any peafowl feathers home? Raise your right thumbs if you have.
Have any of you taken any peafowl feathers and figured a way to answer the question, not to have raised your thumb?
Have any of you in the past year, since April, while you are on the premises felt uncomfortable about the peafowl feathers being out there?
Have any of you figured out a way to answer these questions in a manner, not to expose your behavior?
Do any of you feel your feelings have been hurt by Summum in the last year?
Do you feel you have donated money or something to Summum in the last year?
Do you feel you have gotten your donations worth?
Do any of you feel you have been taken advantage of in this last year?
I guess everybody that felt taken advantage of, or had those feelings isn't here tonight. Okay, everybody can open their eyes under the ark. What do you think about those questions Chris?
Chris: I was thinking about every room in my apartment, wondering if I took a feather home. Those feelings of resentment are very common here, everybody goes through that.
Corky: Tell us about that, what does that mean?
Chris: That feeling of I am being used. That you are being taken advantage of.
Corky: Wow. You know, it is really difficult for me to get a handle on that one.
Chris: It's what you were saying before out of the book, about being spoiled by the loving kiss. You look at the loving kiss as a snake bite, when it is really a loving kiss.
Corky: Do you do that ever at home Shad:? Look at the loving kiss that you've been getting at home as a bite, and you go home and bite back? Why?
Shad:: Yeah, sometimes. Usually because the loving kiss doesn't conform to my personal desire at the moment.
Corky: Oh no! You've got a piss on and you want to take it out on somebody. It's the closest thing that happens to be there when you get home. So at work, you can't get away with flogging the cabinet, you have to use a real life person.
Shad:: Right. I beat up boxes sometimes, but...
Corky: Al used to beat up Janet verbally. Janet divorced him for it. He told me that he never did it, just his brother, and he never did that. Janet said he did, slapped her around. But the majority of the time he just vibed her and said bad things to her, accused her of things and stuff like that. I don't know, why did you say you did it?
Shad:: Usually because I have a personal desire, or I'm attached to my piss on.
Corky: Could you find a reason to do that when you get home? You can always find a reason right? It's sort of like the stereo being left on. We have a high electric bill, and when it's on it keeps on burning electricity and I might not discover it until Monday. Every little bit counts.
How do you guys like being under the ark? It's really weird that we have an ark and they are talking about an ark in that book.
Oh no guys, there keep on being fewer and fewer people here. What are we going to do? It's almost as bad as that book! You can make it anything that you want it to be. It can be a loving kiss, or a snake bite. Al made it something that distressed him. It's really interesting how four rolls of Teflon tape all the sudden appeared in the stack where they were, and then there were new rolls of duct tape right next to it. I couldn't believe how they came back after I mentioned them in class. The wood cut saw hasn't come back yet.
Do you guys wonder why I change the combinations on the buildings out there? Do you think that there is a need for everybody to get in them? I mean, Steve is really pissed when he doesn't get the combination. I haven't seen Steve having a need to get in the building when I haven't been here. So, I should give the combination to everybody on the block, right? So it makes it easier for the person who wants to take the cut saw or the duct tape. I asked Al to make a list of the things that he could think of, that went missing over the last six years. I don't know what that was all about. You know how life is. You know, duct tape, Teflon tape and cut saws. What do you think Chris?
Chris: I wouldn't want your job.
Corky: Do you think there is such a thing as a chondriac?
Chris: What is that?
Corky: It's the end of anything that you put on the front of it. We've all heard of hypochondriacs, but I'm just saying a chondriac. Do you think there is such a thing of clepto-chondriac? What is one of those things? Looks like a bird, probably has wings, probably from the Jurassic age.
Chris: A hoarding impulse.
Corky: It's not a hoarding. It is a justification for its behavior. It has a behavior and the chondriac part is the justification of that behavior. What it does is it justifies its behavior; it does those things for a reason. A clepto-chondriac, not a maniac. A maniac is in a state of mania; it does it rapidly all the time, from one store to the next, collects things and takes them. But a chondriac is slower at it. A mania does it faster. We could say it's okay to be that way because it's medical. It is genetic. You are born with being a chondriac of some sort or another, it is genetic. It's passed down, because you jumped into the womb of that chondria, doing methamphetamine because it was the first womb you could find because you were in a panic. So you jumped in there and all of the sudden you are a metha-chondriac. Have you ever seen one of them Cami? Tell us about them?
Cami: Yes, I have known people like that. They were completely different people than when they began.
Corky: What were they like? Were they honest, or dishonest?
Cami: Very dishonest, they did not want any kind of interaction to last long. They wanted to interact with you quickly and they lie about everything. That drug changes your brain chemistry.
Corky: Why do they lie about things? Were they trying to get something?
Cami: Yeah, they steal money, take things from you and lie to your face about it, to look better, or to not look like the person that they have become.
Corky: People never recover from that. That girl that Steve was with, Shawnelle, I told Steve that she was on meth and he said that she was intense, and when he did her, it ruined his brain for awhile. Plug in phenomenon, you know. Boy, Steve picks the wrong ones! Jesus, Steve makes bad decisions. I can't believe it!
Su: What kind of chondriac would that be?
Bernie: A pick-o-chondriac.
Corky: I can't believe the ones Steve picks! And I can see 'em coming too.
Bernie: That's the fire-hydrant-chondriac.
Corky: Oh, the one he had on his back and jumped a fire hydrant to impress her so he could do her? I was thinking, wow, how could you let her touch you, let alone jump a fire hydrant for her, with her on your back! He must be desperate! She hit her head on the concrete, and she was pissed at him after he crashed! Are you desperate Chris? Do you have any chondriacs?
Chris: I can be.
Corky: A squirt-a-chondriac?
Corky: You got that one. It's not a mania; you don't do it all the time, just once in awhile. It's a build up type of thing. Do you do it on the walls?
Corky: Why not? You ought to put up a target. You know what I would do, if I were you Chris, the best way to deal with a chondriac is to have a target. If you want to discover if it's really a chondriac or not, if you want some discovery here, what you have to do is make a target. A bulls-eye. To be able to hit the target you have to put in some effort.
Chris: Like on a t-shirt or something?
Corky: No, a target on the wall. But you have to get up and go hit the target.
Bernie: You could cut out a picture!
Corky: Yeah. You could put a picture on there, but you have to have it up on the wall and you have to hit it.
Chris: It sounds like a lot of work.
Corky: Wait a second! This is to see if you are a chondriac. Because in the middle of finding the target, you are going to discover something. You say you want an answer to all of this, right? I'm giving you the answer: make a target. Shad: has one when he gets home, Cami is the target. It's all the same thing.
Chris: Make a target, put it on the wall.
Corky: Right. When you do this thing that you do, jump up when this is happening, and know where you are going to hit the target, and if you hit it, you will get the answer you are looking for.
Chris: For everything that has been said, this is kind of ironic, but I really don't, over the last... I go through phases, but I don't squirt as much as you think. It's not like every night.
Corky: I didn't say that. I said once a month, make a target. Shad: has a target right? When he gets home, it's Cami right?
Corky: And he either gets close to the target, or he does it from a distance, it's the same thing. He's relieving himself. He's releasing. Isn't that what you call it Chris, a release? And you feel better after words? And when Shad: comes home and he beats Cami up, he feels better.
Chris: It's a temporary thing.
Corky: I know. He has to get up and go to work and come home and beat her up the next day. Come on Chris, don't get off the topic. You are trying to avoid the chondriac.
Chris: I have to have a target?
Corky: I'm giving you a boon. Make a target. Stick it on the wall. Next time, when you are there, it could be a year from now, could be ten years from now, because I know you are really in control. You like to do a squirting? You enjoy it, right? It's a release. That's what Shad: said; when he comes home he likes to release it on Cami, alright?
Cami: I think I probably do that more to him, than he does to me.
Corky: Okay, your male side does right? It's your male side doing that. And his female side takes it. But Chris doesn't have anybody at home but his cat, and do not do this to a cat! Try to put the target on the wall, use a playboy picture, whatever you want to. Make sure you put a target at a level on the wall where you can be successful. Then, as soon as you think this is going to happen, jump up, run over to the target, and see if you can hit it. You have to be within the first shot. If you miss it the first shot, you have to try it again.
Chris: Oh my god, I don't get this.
Corky: Will you do it for us? For everybody under the ark? How many want Chris to do this, raise their hand. Everybody wants you to do this.
Chris: I don't get aroused by bulls-eyes.
Corky: This is the finish. It's over by then. You are going to have all the fun getting there, and this is the target, the finale. You beat it up a little. Then make it wait on you a little, and pamper you.
Chris: I don't understand my job.
Corky: They always say that. You will get conscious. You will say, what's happening, why am I doing this? Shad, you should practice this too. See if you can hit the target, Cami you wear the bulls-eye.
Shad:: We'll have fun with this one!