Hold on to the Other Ten Percent

March 19, 2005

...there was nobody inside of him...

Before we get started I wanted to talk about something very interesting. I have a website that is bookmarked on my computer. It is a site about this psychologist, he was on CNN news with a doctor, and she introduced this psychologist who came up with a test to discover whether you are using the female side of your brain or the male side of your brain, and how much male or female you are if you take the test. He said that when he took it he was 40% female, and 50% male.

Ron: Where is the other 10%?

Corky: I don't know, but I have it bookmarked and I think we ought to get a copy of the test and have everybody around here take it. And I think we could refine the test at the same time. Some of the psychological tests they have developed over the years are really good, especially the ones they make you take for certain types of employment. I think they do it in the medical industry, they give them to all the doctors at the VA, to see if they can deal with the vets. The test probably has an allowance for ten percent, I don't know. I'll send everybody a link and then let's demand a copy of this test, because I'd like to pass the test out to everybody that comes here. This is his area of research, which is really interesting, because you don't even hear people in society admitting that such a thing exists.

But he's saying you have a female and a male side, even though you may have a male or a female body. This question came up because there was some president of Harvard or Yale, that said that women do not do well in the sciences, or something like that, and the media has been hammering the guy and they have been on it ever since. This psychologist is saying, "Well the president of the school may be correct but there may be some reason for it." The entire last ten years of his life has been about discovering how to find out which part of the brain is being used by a person when they do certain things. He is a therapist and gives them a test, and says "okay that's your female side you are using, and you can use your male side." And he teaches people how to use their female or their male side. So I'll send everybody a link, this guy is really sharp. I'd say he has opened the door for a new area of science is all. He opened a door.

It is sort of like poor Einstein, he opened the door with the theory of relativity and until the 1930's he was the most famous person in the world and then quantum mechanics came along and he became an outlaw. It was the opposite. Everything was under relativity, everything was under destiny and then all of the sudden here comes probability and chance under quantum mechanics.

Lambchop the blow-up lamb is sort of like Hermes the Frog. The thing that is so interesting about Lambchop, is that Lambchop represents a very base relativity. It is a beginning of existence. It is like the law of gravity or the law of electromagnetism or attraction or whatever.

What do you think Isha Schwaller had to say in her book Her-bak about it? What is an initiate from the book Her-bak by Isha Schwaller?

Ron: Her-bak is a young man, whose parents decide he is going to become a young monk, and follow the ways of the priests of the ancient Egyptians. From what I gather he is just a really neutral person. And that he goes into the journey from a real open standpoint. So obviously his parents allowed for that space to happen, because parents have to do that.

Corky: Could it be the story of Jesus going to Egypt? The same story but masked in the name Her-bak the Initiate, and when he was in Egypt they called him Her-bak?

Ron: I think that is partly what it is about. I think if she was writing about Jesus, she would definitely have to cloak it in that manner because it would freak Christians out. But I think from Her-bak and The Opening of the Way, it is a very interesting story and it is for somebody that would like to get close to what the journey was all about. That is what Christ was all about, the journey. Everybody takes him to the end because that's where salvation is. But I think the story of Christ, or the story of Her-bak, like you said, they are very much the same thing.

Corky: So when Jesus and Her-bak both say "The Father and I are one. There is just one." What was he saying?

Ron: I think he was talking about this being my responsibility.

Corky: Or there is just one person.

Ron: There is one responsibility.

Corky: Do you think that what Isha Schwaller was saying in the introduction, she was talking about an undressing and all the different masters that came along talked about an undressing of themselves. But they did it in a different way and in different words for each age.

The all talked about getting down to a nakedness of their essence, a beginning point. She does not use the word surrender yet, maybe she has another word for it. It amazed me that Osho used that word, because it is such a deadly word. It is the thing that the male mind cannot do. A male mind cannot surrender. It can surrender with a plot, but it is not a true surrender. I was watching a special on the History Channel and the second guy in charge under Hitler tried to surrender Germany and make a deal with the West, and the West said, "We are not going to allow a deal and allow any leaders of the third Reich to live, it cannot be a deal, it has to be a total, unconditional surrender in Germany." The male mind, and he was trying to cut a deal. It is very difficult for the male mind to surrender. It always tries to cut a deal, so that it can stay male. This test ought to be interesting.

I remember when I was 29 years old; that is the prime of life. I could do anything I wanted, or at least I thought I could. You know, old people tell you this story. There is a story that old people tell and I can tell it because I'm old. They say that the older you get the faster the years go. And I heard the words from all the people that were older, but to really be honest with you, now, it seems like a week feels like how a day felt like when I was in my 40's. Is that sort of true Ron? It's like a week happens in a day.

Al: I can remember it like yesterday — sitting here on the red carpet with no furniture in here, making wine.

Corky: We used to pick up 55 gallon drums

Ron: Grab it and move it, that's what we'd do.

Corky: And it's words. Just like Isha Schwaller said. It is only words, until you pass through the experience. So, if you can catch the wave or the wind or the smell or the feeling when you are young and hold on to it, through your whole life, if you can catch it when you are Shad's age. I caught it when I was 30. I had it before when I was ten. If you can catch the wave, or the wind, or the smell or the feeling of it, and allow yourself to unlock the door of Lambchop on that level of existence, as base desires, if you can begin to drop the base desires, if you can begin to forgive yourself for holding onto them so tightly, and continue it through a lifetime; what it does is allow you to prepare for a leap forward in evolution from that level of the base desires that you were incarnated into, into that new wave that you caught, into that freedom or emancipation and liberation. Away from the animal that you came out of. Animals don't enjoy sex. They don't. They do it, but they do it because it is a base desire. These animals, our cats around here, are lucky because they've been fixed. They can feel affection and closeness.

Chris, you are so easy to pick on I just cannot stop from doing it! Because you've talked about it so much, you've sort of asked us to talk about it so many times in here. Do you still have that thing, that goal to squirt on something?

Chris: I enjoy it.

Corky: So you still have that goal.

Chris: It's different than it was, but it is still there.

Corky: Right. How is it different?

Chris: Things have become more, it's hard to explain, but there is more patience and more detachment than what it was.

Corky: Can I ask you a question? Was there a time in your life that it was so powerful that you would go out of your way to find it, to be able to do that? Do you think it could ever turn into an accident?

Chris: I don't understand the question.

Corky: Do you think you could ever be having sex with a female, and have it turn into an accident that you fell into it? There are no such things as accidents you know, unless it becomes quantum. In the quantum field anything is possible.

Chris: In my experience it's a mutual participation. Anything is possible, but I don't know exactly what you are getting at.

Corky: Ron, how would you cover it? I mean Chris, let's just say it's "x" and not Chris. X has a desire on to squirt on something. X goes through life and discovers maybe squirting on something isn't where it is at, because as soon as you squirt on something it is sort of like a death. I think Osho said that in one of his books. It is like a death. Why is it a death Shad?

Shad: Because it's a build up and then it all just goes away, you expend everything, there is nothing saved.

Corky: But what do you lose?

Shad: energy.

Corky: Yes, you lose energy. But you lose something other than energy. You lose your will. Aren't you sort of will-less after Steve?

Steve: After ejaculating? Yes.

Corky: I am just saying it is the way that energy flows. Everything flows towards the creative. Everything goes into creation, and then it is born out of creation. Do you feel a little tiny bit emancipated Chris? Do you see that it is a self-created incarceration? But it is so powerful that you like the invisible bars.

Chris: Yes, at this point.
Corky: You are just being honest. I'm not saying anything about that. Do you think you would run around the block for the thing that you think you need?

Chris: Yes, in desire. I've always kind of been in conflict with it, even though the desire has always been there. I've never felt good about it completely.

Corky: So Isha Schwaller is saying that we are going to talk about the opening of the way, or the turning of the key, like the Kybalion says the master key or whatever. One of the basic steps you could make so complex. She says it in such intellectual words, because she thinks that you can only touch the intellectual mind which is sort of true. Because you can't touch a mind that is so stuck in the depths of just surviving, that is only interested in survival. You cannot touch that mind. You can only touch a mind that has been fulfilled with all the survival, and it does not have to worry about that any longer. It is floating up here into an area of questioning, saying "Okay I'm not into surviving anymore." So you have to find minds that are looking for life or reason. Then they can only be a mind that is willing to surrender. And a mind that can surrender is a female mind.

If you look back on history, there have been a lot of wars going on. Convinced they have the right way, or the right religions, or the right doctrine, or the right philosophy and they make wars of it. They have been the right way, in the right mind, and the left way in the female mind. And it doesn't make any difference if you have a female body or a male body. It is either or. It seems to me, but I may be very mistaken, that the majority of females on the planet are male at this time in evolution. They have a great emphasis on things of the world and stuff like that. But there are exceptions on both sides of course.

I think what we said before was you can't be looking any longer, you have to surrender right where you are at. And you can't put any conditions on it, as though it is a treaty, or something like that, because then you are still in the male mind because it has conditions. And having conditions is not a surrender. It is very difficult to surrender. It is very difficult to surrender.

It is like a battle between two male minds. It makes no difference who says what, or who did what. A battle happens. A war of the brothers. That is what the male mind does, it has wars with brothers. You have to have some kind of uniform on to have a war. You have to have some kind of position on. If you are a nobody, and you are a nothing, it is pretty hard to get up and have a battle. And the only reason that Osho told all those people that were sitting in that audience that they were a nobody or a nothing, is because deep within himself he understood that he was a nobody and a nothing. And that he knew that at a point in time after enough incarnations they all become a nobody and a nothing.

What do you think about Lambchop Cami?

Cami: I love Lambchop, because she makes people so uncomfortable.

Corky: I think they get comfortable, they are just pretending to be uncomfortable.

Cami: That's what is funny about it.

Corky: So you see that. You see that they think it could be a possibility. They would probably do Lambchop if somebody wasn't looking don't you think? Just for base need.

Wow. They'd do Lambchop for a base need.

I can remember lying on the beach at the wedge, and there was this need going on to have the biggest balls on the block. And there were these big waves coming in. I went out there and did one of them, that was probably a maximum of 12 feet tall. That is not that big of a wave, some people do 30 foot waves. But what happened was when it went over it hit all the sand, and it would burry you in the sand and then there was this foam on top of it. And one experience was enough to make me a believer.

From then on I decided to be with the photographer on the beach. I didn't take any pictures or anything but I just said, "Hey you guys, you guys can do it, but I just haven't got what it takes to do it." It was really interesting because the guy that could do it the best was Rich Fensky. He had just gotten back from Hawaii, and he could ride those waves, crash in them and come out a live and it would just amaze me. I don't know what it was, but it just didn't feel comfortable.

The female mind understands comfortable. The male mind is trying to find it. So if you are in a female body and you are trying to find comfortable, you can realize that you are in your male mind. If you are in a female body and you can find comfortable, in every aspect of life, comfortable, then you are in your female mind. If you are in a male body and you can find comfortable in every aspect of life, you have discovered your female nature and you can rest in it. It is home. It is the womb of creation itself. You better get a good copy of this and put it in the book. I think those words have been said before in a different way.

Osho said you need to be female to enter the domain of god. Jesus said it too. Every enlightened being, or everyone who has gone beyond... .I hate the word enlightened and I hate the word love; they are used way too much. Everyone who has gone beyond the plane of humankind has realized or gone into an understanding that it is a state of consciousness and in the state of consciousness it is a feeling. Consciousness is the way you feel about everything, that is what consciousness is. There are different kinds of consciousness. When you move your consciousness you move into a different feeling.

It can be given, and it can be received. That is called induction. You get drafted. But I don't think you guys are getting drafted, you are getting inducted, because you are volunteers. The funny thing is, like when Janie Fry came here. She thought she could fool Summum. She had fooled people prior to that. But she couldn't pull it over here. Frank was not Summum; he had not risen to a level of consciousness to be able to comprehend it, to let himself surrender enough to it to become it. Because until you can put yourself into the water you cannot become the water. You stay in the desert and you are the desert. Wherever you put your attention is where you are at. You put your attention into creation of it, you are it. Where ever your attention is, is what you become. Whatever you nurture is what you become.

Don't you think its funny Cami? You know what your problem is? You have a difficult time, when you drink nectar of being dishonest. The only reason being is I don't think you have a mission on. A mission to do a male or a female on anybody, do you?

Cami: A lot of times I have a male on.

Corky: But you don't have a mission on when you drink the nectar in here. So you have your mission on out there, but when you get in here, you drink some nectar, all of the sudden you lose your mission? How does it feel?

Cami: Relaxing.

Corky: Do you remember when I touched your head? What happened, did you lose your mind? Wasn't it fun, losing your mind? What I mean by your mind is, not the mind of creation, but the mind of your self. Was it weird, was it okay? You asked me to do it, or I wouldn't have done it.

Cami: Yes. I did.

Corky: Because there is only one person. There is nobody. Hello. There is nobody. Not even one person. There is not even a person, all there is, is a state of being, and there is only one of those. Just behind the state of being, is just one essence. It smells, it feels, it tastes, it is so clear that it is infinite consciousness. It is so clear that an obstacle cannot support itself in it, because it can't exist in it, obstacles are not clear. It has no words. It has no thoughts. It is nothing. And because it is nothing it is everything. If you take one of the infinite things out of everything and put it in the nothing, then it is colored. It is touched with something from possibility. So the strings of creation, one end is nothing and all the other ends are possibilities, and they all vibrate at different vibrations. There are combinations of the different vibrations that make up elements, relativities, and thoughts and ideas. And all they are, are harmonics or vibrations in the subjective, they are not objective, they are subjective vibrations. Because they manifest themselves in the objective, they have to have an opposite. So you can take on as many of them as you would choose. Or you could drop the ends of all the strings, like Osho says to drop it, relax, surrender. What is the formula again Bernie? I forgot the formula.

Bernie: Surrender = unification = god.

Corky: Right. So to be able to understand this and make it yours, you can't just talk about it. You have to do it. You have to experience it. You can philosophize about it, you can write about it. I would say the greatest challenge that there ever could be, would be the challenge to lose yourself. Because it is the greatest surrender that could ever happen to you. And if you surrender then you are in the state of unification. Because you have surrendered all the ends and everything, joined together and unified and then you are in the domain of creation. So, what is the biggest problem when you are out there being your male? Don't you think that every person that you met in life, you could surrender to them by being nobody?

Say if you went to the cash register, and there was somebody there, and you went to the cash register as nobody. Or if you drove down the road as nobody, and you hid yourself in traffic because you were nobody and you were just in the flow of it. Is that the biggest problem, that nobody wants to be a nobody? Everybody wants to be somebody. The world teaches them to be somebody. They have to be a star of some sort. You have got to have some thing to make you different, you have to stand out in some way, you have got to shine so that the world recognizes you. The only reason you have to shine so the world recognizes you, is so that you will realize that you are. As long as you realize that you are then you cannot go through the transference being who you are, because you can't join with the clear Buddha. You cannot become female. It is a metaphor. It is not a sex thing you guys. It is asexual. It is a joining of yourself together. It is a real paradox

I just saw a thing on A & E channel about gods, and it had a little blimp about Osho and some other cults and things. They did a pretty good job, but they said some bad things, but if you were conscious enough you could see right through it. If you could see Osho, it was very good. You could see that there was nobody inside of him, in the photographs that they had. Does that make sense that there was nobody inside of him? Funny huh? The thing that was very interesting, was that Sheila girl, took millions of dollars and sent them to Swiss bank accounts. The only bad he could say about her was "Well, she did it because that's what she wanted to do." They said to him "well, we thought you were a master, you should know everything that is going to happen tomorrow, and the next day and everything." He said "No I don't know the future, I just know her mind." Because there was no future or past with Osho. Because all the futures and past, work with everyone who decided to have one. Sheila had a future and past, and she decided to open Swiss bank accounts. It was a really interesting thing to see Osho say that. They showed Osho getting upset, pretending to get upset. I think he said in his book you gotta pretend sometimes to be upset. You have to pretend because it will keep everybody happy. When he was being upset, he was laughing about it and it was so funny because he wasn't really upset. He was laughing about it. But he got real serious for this video they had on TV. But you could tell behind what he was saying, he was laughing about it. And that, I think would be the greatest surrender that you could have. To have to pretend to get upset.

It is an experience. It is not words. It is not in a book. And the only way you can really experience it is you have got to fall in devotion, which is beyond love. Because love has colors on it in today's society. It has millions of colors, lots of words, contracts, flowers, notes, passages, and all kinds of things. Oh I love you honey! Do you have any money for me to go to the mall? Love has trade, it is a commodity. Devotion is a movement. It is a movement of your soul or your essence, a movement away from your prison. It does not mean you are out of prison. It doesn't mean you are emancipated, it doesn't mean you are liberated, but it is a key. In all prisons there are lots of doors, and there are many keys. Devotion is one of the major master keys. Because you can come to Summum and you can have a lot of plastic keys that are not strong enough to turn the mechanism which unlocks your door. You have to have a real key.

So if you can find devotion and instead of making it words or thoughts, you can really give yourself to it. That is intense isn't it? And that is just the beginning. If you can find that key, that master key.

It is so funny, the kybalion board. God, they talk about it, but then when it is handed to them, they run from it. That is what life is like. Here is the key, guys. Here you go. Why are they so afraid of it?

Shad: Because they don't know themselves at all.

Corky: Right now it is easy isn't it Cami? It's so easy - you can just be in it. You cannot get out of it, you are so deep in it. You would have to try to crawl up a wall to get out of it right now. It wouldn't make any difference what I said to you, you would do it at this point, right? But there are other times you would argue with it.

That is the ridiculousness of it. Because it asks you to do things that out there would be objectionable, but right now they are meaningless. Even asking you to do anything would be ridiculous wouldn't it? Because you are in it and there is nothing to do in it, you are so in it that there is nothing there.

How about the quantum thing? It's even better than that, isn't it? But you continue to say "why me?" Why me? But you continue to look around and say "it couldn't be them!" Wherever you go out there, couldn't be them, I guess it must be me. Then you run into them out there, I mean they have a mission on out there. Doesn't make any difference what title they have, there is a mission! I don't know where it is going. Where is it going Ron, no where is it?

Ron: They are orbiting around their own butts.

Corky: And it goes right back into itself right?

It is sort of like a bunch of essences join and become one essence, it is really weird how it works. That's how you go in the involution back. It is the only way you can get back. Once you are particle-ized all the particles have to go together and become the same thing. It is the doubling of the identity. Everybody always thought that you got two identities, but it is really weird, I didn't know it until the other day, someone asked me this question and I didn't know that they understood it backwards. I must have said it wrong. I have been telling everybody for years that when you go through the transference you double your identity. And everybody thought that they get to become two people instead of one, they get to be Sam and Sue, and what I was saying is when you double your identity what you do is you take two identities, Shad and Al, and they become "x," and they are not two, they are one hand clapping. That is the koan.

I didn't know until the other day, that everybody was taking exactly the opposite of the way I really meant it. I guess it is because everybody wants to become larger rather than smaller. They want to become somebody rather than nobody. They want to become infinity and all the particles rather than the nothing, which is the everything. It is a paradox. You have to do it backwards. You go in the back door, you don't go in the front door. You go in the easy way, because if you try to go in the hard way it is the male mind and you will never arrive. But if you surrender and go in the back door as nobody, and you are there.

It seems like everybody is doing just the opposite thing. Wow, I don't know how you guys do it. How do you live out there? Today I got lost in a lawn plug. When I was gathering the plugs up off the lawn, I picked up this one plug and I put my attention into it, and I went back with it over the years that it had grown and been in the lawn. It was beautiful. It was about two inches long and it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. It happened back there by the little pyramid, and I was holding it in my hand when we were taking a break. I was holding it in my hand, making sure nobody was thinking how crazy I was getting lost in this lawn plug. But to be able to be a piece of dirt is to be able to sit under the Bodhi tree and be nothing. Because there is the dirt, there is the tree, there is the sky. Everything is in that piece of dirt, everything. Every possibility, because the essence of creation is right there. And so it doesn't make any difference how large you try to make yourself. That is the paradox.