Suicide and Death - Part 1

December 21, 1986

Nobody wants to learn how to die do they?

There are some interesting things happening in the house. What do they call it when things move on their own? There is a phenomenon when things move, I can't remember what it is, but there is a term for it. Telekinesis is when a person does it. It is not a well known term, but sometimes it happens in the basement down here in the house, it's real interesting. They are spirits that have lived there before, and are doing something, who knows what they are doing. It is pure speculation as to what they are up to. It's really interesting. I think everybody, when you see stuff like that going on, you ought to look at it real clearly and just observe it and see what it's all about. As much as you can. Because what it does, is it reinforces the knowledge that there is something other than just the material manifest world. That something happens, something unexplainable, it may be a phenomenon of the material manifest world that we don't understand yet, but at least it gives us a position to let us know that there is something that we don't know, or we don't have the answer for. It may be like they say, the Loch Ness monster is running around in the lake or whatever, it may just be a prehistoric creature that hasn't died that is reproducing in the lake, or it may be a deformed whale that grew wrong or something like that. You don't really know until it is discovered. There have been all these things in the past that science has looked at, and said we don't know it now, but then later they discovered what it is and were able to come up with some relevant answer to what it is. There is nothing in existence that cannot be scientifically understood at a certain particular state of evolution. Because as we continue to evolve, science continues to get back to the point that everything is just energy which is manifested in matter; and all matter is, is energy. And when you get down to that state you realize that it can be manipulated and turned into whatever state it is. And then, there is some kind of intelligence behind the energy. And once you get down to the understanding of that, we are right back to what Summum says Creation is: which is the philosophical union of the two grand opposites which is manifested in everything. So it is all explainable at one state of evolution or another. There is nothing mysterious about it, or mystical. But it's interesting to look at all that stuff, because it gives an understanding that we don't know everything and that there is something to be grasped or to go on to.

Before we get started with class, I wanted to cover a little ground, and I've had Al talk about this a lot of times. I've talked about it a lot of times, but I use Al because he's a real good example and he can portray it really well. About how we go along in the airplane and the skies are clear, and then all of the sudden we look off in the distance and those clouds look like they might be fun to fly through. And there is no way around them anyway, and our path, on automatic pilot, is leading us in that direction. And all of the sudden we're in the clouds, and then we lose consciousness when we're in the clouds and we forgot how we got there and the whole thing turns into a fog. You know, have you ever been driving in a city and you get into a fog and you forget where all the street signs are and you don't know where you are at, and you are stranded on a corner? Has that ever happened to anybody?

Isn't that a weird experience? It's like you are in one little tiny space, you don't know which direction is which right? In the fog. That is the same way in this evolving pattern that takes place, you will be going along and get a really clear shot, and then there is an automatic swing back to the other side. As you go up these steps, and like the saying goes, for every two steps forward you take one step backwards. Well that is true, and it says in the physical sciences that it takes some kind of energy to move something forward, and there is an automatic swing, or a resistance that comes backwards with that pushing forward. There is an energy that is required to move it forward and there is a force that is moving against this energy going forward. And what happens is we move forward in our evolutionary consciousness and our understanding towards what this thing is, called "enlightenment," which is a bad term for it anyway. Because all enlightenment is, is more and more understanding, more and more comprehension within the soul and the spirit. I hate that word enlightenment, it gets so used up, it's ridiculous, because there is no final stage of it. And the force that moves backwards always brings us sort of a step backwards. The resistance of it can be described as the fog and when you get in there it gets really confusing and when you're in that thing you get lost and you don't even know why you're in there, where you're at and what in the world is going on and how you got there. You are just stuck there on the corner wondering "God, what city am I even in, am I really in Salt Lake City or am I really in San Diego?" or wherever you happen to be. Has that ever happened to you? I mean in your spiritual consciousness. It's sort of like you don't know how you got there or what it is or what's going on with you.

And it is the same thing with driving in the fog; it's sort of a manifested experience. And it happens to everybody, and every level of consciousness or states of enlightenment or whatever you would like to say has these areas where this fog gets real thick. You get into it and it gets real confusing and then you try to blame your circumstances and the fact that you are in the fog on the city planners that lay out the streets, or on the power company because the street lights are out, on the road sign people because they didn't put up glowing road signs for you to watch, on the police department because they are not there to lead you out of the fog, on everybody but yourself for having driven down the road in the first place to get there. And it is a very natural thing for this to take place. As you get an understanding of this thing that happens in your evolutionary consciousness and why it happens and why you get there, it becomes easier each time you get there to relax and mellow out and allow yourself to float through the other side and work your way out of the fog. Instead of panicking while you're in there. All you do is make it worse if you panic because all you do is drive around real quick looking to find out where you are at, and you get more lost. Right? You panic while you're in it, and you get more lost, and at least you had a general idea of where you were, and you take a quick left and a quick right and end up down an alley and you don't even know what planet you're on. That ever happen Al, you get panicked?

Al: Yes

Corky: And it gets worse doesn't it Al?

Al: It doesn't get any better, yeah.

Corky: Right. Anyway, I wanted to explain that and we've talked about that a lot of times but it needs to be repeated and repeated and repeated because everybody at different stages or whatever goes into the fog. I'm sure Ron has gone into it over the last 6 months a number of times, at least once a month don't you think? And you wonder why you're here, what you're doing, why you're in this school thing, why in the world is mummification important, what in the world am I doing here in this class with these cadavers, how in the world is there any purpose, any function in all of this? Right?

Ron: I'm going right to zero.

Corky: Or you could jump off the other side and say I'm going and I'm starting something new in life, right?

Ron: Yeah, right to zero.

Corky: But then all of a sudden you come out of the fog and you say "Well, I guess maybe there is a purpose in all of this that I'm in," and you start seeing clearly again and you find the streets and you find where you are. But it pushes you right to the brink, and it is trying to tell you to transmutate and grow radar or sonar. Radar and Sonar. It's a new combination of a seeing function in the fog. And it has infrared cameras in it and a little sonar and a little radar and a little TV screen there, so it doesn't matter how dark it is or how much fog is there you can send out these beams and they bounce off the train and come back and you can see where to drop the bombs.

Did everybody see what they did in Libya, what they used? It's a new type of radar, infrared camera sonar system and it doesn't matter how dark it is, there is no light at all. What it uses is an infrared camera and it scans the ground with radar, and it's a dimensional radar that not only shows where things are but it shows the dimensions and depth and everything. And it has an infrared camera and they impose all these images on each other and they compose everything together and the pilots can look through a TV screen. Did anybody watch that when they showed the bombing of Libya? It was unbelievable; they can drop those bombs within ten feet of anything. It was amazing. A combination of all of those things together.

Science and technology combined together, and that's the exact same thing. We are in the same system except we are within a personal system of our own science and technology as we continue to develop the evolutionary creature of the humanoid and go on. And it rests within the soul, and the next time you incarnate, if you go through a proper transference and you go through real good guidance, you will pick up a body or whatever you want to call it, and an essence, that will allow you to continue to evolve on with these extra features that you pick up through evolution by learning to use them in this lifetime. And so creation pushes you to that edge to get you to build up the muscles and the intuition and the new facilities to get you to transmutate your soul inside and your physical body on the outside to get you to go beyond the thing that you think you are.

Now, let's go back to where we were last night. Where were we last night Chris?

Chris: Can I ask a question first? I just want to get this straight.

Corky: It's called evolution, you've heard about it in the text books right, it's a change through selectivity.

Chris: And just to repeat again, a lot of times this fog is a direct result of you having gone forward...

Corky: Exactly, it is a direct result of it. It's sort of like when you push yourself and you run around the track and you do a hard work out, you come home and your muscles ache. Right Ron? I can remember running around the track and doing 4 40's back to back until every day you got sick and got the dry heaves. And you stand there for a half hour vomiting after working out. Now that doesn't sound logical does it? Here you are working out and you ought to feel good afterwards. But what happens is you work so hard that it makes you sick.

Chris: Because you're transforming your body.

Corky: You're transforming your body. But when you come back the next day, the guy that doesn't work out hard enough to make him sick like the coach said, isn't as fast the next day, and they're not. The guy that just goes around there and just pushes it to the point to where he isn't going to put out the totality of what it takes to push over that hill that gets you sick, doesn't run as fast as the guy that does. And then there's a little bit of natural talent there, either you got it or you don't got it, and that's a real important factor. And the reason you got it is because you got it from your last incarnation and you worked your way through to it. There aren't any accidents, there's no chance, it's all a very mathematical cause and effect relationship. Evolution and existence. On all layers as long as you apply the laws from above down, it's all real mathematical. It cannot necessarily be explained by our mathematics but there is a form of mathematics or a form of understanding that can explain the cause and effect relationship on one level or another. Yeah Chris?

Chris: We talked about two things, I guess they relate to each other, we talked about suicide and what that means and what that's all about and why people have suicidal fantasies when they get stressed, and we talked about the way that an individual heart has the knowledge of the whole like the way that a skin cell...

Corky: Ok, let's go back to suicide and start with that one. You explain it, you've probably got the "What's it all about?"

Chris: Oh I just told Corky last night, we were all sitting at the Green Parrot restaurant and I said we should really talk about suicide, we should dedicate a class to it, because I know when I'm in that fog really badly, when it's a real intense fog I have suicidal fantasies. I would say it rarely gets to the point that I would really consider doing it, but I would say that I play with the idea of how to do it. It seems to give me a certain comfort and I've talked to other people who do the same thing. And apparently it's very common.

Corky: Yeah, it's very common, but nobody admits it. Everybody does it, but nobody admits it and it's a very interesting thing. The sickness is that nobody's admitting it within society. All the surveys that I've seen, and maybe I haven't seen the right ones, and all the text books I read on it when I was in school and stuff, they say that a percentage of the society does it, and they don't list a large percentage of the society that does it. Maybe 40 percent or something like that, but I don't remember. How about you, do you remember?

Ron: Well, from what they teach us in school is that everybody goes through a point that they do it, but very few people get to a point that they go out and are buying the stuff to do it. But everybody gets to a point that they get so far down that they are looking for a way out.

Corky: So they are saying that now in school, they are saying that everybody goes through that, right? And there's nobody that's exempt from it and it's a natural thing. Even the whales do it. It's real interesting, 25 whales just did it back in New York. They said that it is because of the stress of their environmental conditions. They are trying to figure out what is causing these whales to do it, when the waves get bad and the food is a little scarce and the storms are on the coast, the whales beach themselves because of their environmental stress. Scientists are worried about their longevity and they're smart enough to know. You can all go through this scenario in your mind. What is really interesting is people on the path, the one we're on or whatever, are more susceptible to the swings of this, to the extent that it is this motion forwards and backwards of the pendulum. And you get real clear and then automatically you get thrown back into a fog and it makes you more susceptible to it and it can become more intense and a lot of people go into a period of silence. They'll go into a two year silence or a meditation or a monastery or something like this and hang out there, because that's the only place they can stand the pain. Because all pleasure turns into pain and all pain turns into pain also, there's no such thing as pleasure left in the normal things of the world, and as viewed through the senses, there is nothing left worth going after.

How do you like this class? Isn't it great? Do you hear this stuff anywhere else? See, because most people don't want to talk about this.

And the most important thing that Summum is about is the nectars to get people through all of this and to enlighten them to it or to educate them to it, and then the communion with life and death which is the mummification; the transference from one life to the next life. When a person has really reached a communion with life and death it takes the edges off the steps forward in evolution, but most people avoid the communion with life and death. When you speak of death all of a sudden they get a spine tickling jerk in their butt that isn't comfortable.

Even though we're speaking about this suicide thing that comes up in people, it is still the fear of the unknown and the questions that pop up are: "Is it going to hurt? Am I going to feel pain when this thing happens?" And that one loses its relevance after a period of time, it doesn't make any difference whether it hurts because it hurts so bad on this side it doesn't make any difference if it hurts as you go through it.

And if I'm incorrect in this scenario of explaining this, people here in class can jump in and add to this.

Then, number 2 question is: "Why in the world is everybody looking at me when you're talking about this, am I supposed to do this, is that the program?" Paranoia of it. Does that sound familiar? Ok, so there is the fear of the pain and then there is the paranoia, or the fear of "it has landed on me." And how did I get to this spot for it to be in my lunch bag, the bomb. I got this lunch pail, you know everyone has this lunch pail going through life and all of a sudden the bomb isn't over there in someone else's lunch pail, it's in mine. And is it going to go off while I'm carrying it? You know, I got the bomb. And I saw on TV what happens to those guys when the bomb goes off - foosh - gone! And then, after you get to this paranoia that I got the bomb in my lunch pail, if it does go off and it drags me to the point that I do this suicidal thing, whether it happens to be a natural long term suicidal thing that's done on a daily basis by abusing your body by overeating, drinking a lot, or doing some kind of drug or whatever, these are called the blows of death, there is an inner plea saying "take me out of this existence but I don't have enough where-with-all to muster up to do it instantaneously to myself because I have all these reasons and excuses why I can't do it." Or should I allow all the blows of death, there are seven major ones, over a period of a lifetime to bring me to this point of doing it, and let it naturally take place and have life explain it as a natural cause of death. Because I'm tired of dealing with this particular set of circumstances that I got myself into in life.

And there's another factor that says well what if I do it, what's over there? Is there anything over there? I know that I've talked about it a lot, and a lot of people have talked about it, but I haven't talked to anyone that's been there for a long time and come back. Now that's not necessarily true with everyone, there are some people that have talked to some people that have been there and back or who are still there on the other side. But for the masses it's called the veil of Isis. Anyone ever heard that before? Did anyone ever know what it was before?

You know in the afternoon when you meditate, what do you use?

This is a very important tape. I don't know that anyone is ever going to understand what's in these tapes.

Ron: I use one of the nectars when I meditate.

Corky: But what do you do in the afternoon?

Ron: I meditate.

Corky: How do you meditate?

Ron: I use the sound. I go sit down and I use it for a moment and then, just nothing.

Corky: Do you sit towards the west where the sun goes down?

Ron: Uh, sometimes, it depends...

Corky: If you ever remember being taught to face the west where the sun goes to sleep forever? If it goes to sleep and goes down? And the word you use to begin your meditation is what?

Ron: In the evening?

Corky: Yeah in the evening.

Ron: Isis

Corky: Right! He got it. Now, does that have any significance at all? The Veil of Isis.

Al: Yeah it does.

Corky: What happens in the morning?

Al: It's the opposite of that.

Corky: It's the birth. The birth of the sun coming over the horizon. A whole new day starts. It's so simple it's unbelievable.

Al: That's the life and the death coming...

Corky: Exactly. It is the life and the death, each day is born and each day dies. And birth comes in with Amen Ra in the morning and death comes with Isis in the evening. It's a real simple thing. That's why you do your meditation that way. And for me to sit down and explain this to somebody when you first learn how to meditate and say "Oh my god you're teaching me how to be born and how to die! Oh god, I don't want to know how to die, I don't want nothing to do with dying, I want to learn how to live forever." Nobody wants to learn how to die do they? But if you told people that we teach people here how to die they're going to say "Jesus Christ I don't want anything to do with those guys, they're fucking nuts." But the problem is everybody is going to do it. What's the probability Chris that you're going to get out of dying?

Chris: Zero.

Corky: Oh no, there must be some kind of probability, you know some way out there of a percentage that you could figure out a way.

Chris: Probably Avogadro's number. 6.02 x 10 to the negative 23rd.

Corky: Yeah, and then even when I mention the word it sends chills up the spines of people to even be able to deal with it, but the problem is that that's the problem. That nobody's making a communion with the wholeness of existence. And so what they're doing is they're getting so caught up in staying alive in this lifetime, I'm not saying they should be trying to die, but they're losing the continuum of existence.

Al: There's no balance of understanding in life.

Corky: Exactly, you can't balance the whole. There's going to be a sun coming up tomorrow. It's sort of like everybody on the planet when the sun starts to go down runs over and jumps in the lake and drowns their ass because they don't know that the sun is coming up the next day. And they haven't had any real experience, and all it is are words coming out of some bald headed old bearded man in a pyramid.

Al: Or they get in their car and drive and follow the sun because they don't want to see it go down because something catastrophic will take place without the sun. You know that's the Columbus story, going to sail off the end of the world.

Corky: Right. People will get faster and faster and be able to stay longer and longer and longer and longer will run out sooner or later. I mean they won't be able to get enough gas in their plane to go on. The tanker didn't show up to refuel them or the oil ran low in the engine and it wore out and couldn't keep up with the sun. And the veil of Isis is a very important thing to have a communion with. Now when I talk about this I can see these thoughts rushing through your mind "Am I supposed to go commit suicide?"... Do you know what I'm saying? Does that happen at all? Does it raise an anxiety in there?

Ron: Not for my physical body, not to where I want to take my physical body. I get to the point where I want to resign from it all.

Corky: Well, you've got to take your physical body if you're going to resign from it all. Janet, does that happen to you?

Janet: Resigning from it all feeling? Yeah, I feel that way.

Corky: Have you ever contemplated suicide?

Janet: I was just thinking about it when you said that and I guess I have, but I always get to the point where I think it's just ridiculous. I mean I've thought about it because I've seen so much of it and I think, could I do something like that?

Corky: Have you Jeremy? It usually happens for the first time around 9 or 10 years old.

Jeremy: Yeah.

Corky: You have haven't you? Yeah. Have you thought about doing it with a gun or something like that or how have you thought about it?

Jeremy: I'm not real sure how I thought about it.

Corky: But you just felt real bad, that you'd just like to die? Yeah. See and I would say, and I could be wrong, because Ron is saying that they're raising the issue more in the philosophy and psychology classes, that this topic is totally avoided about the reality and the massiveness of this in the stages of their life and when it comes on them. Did you ever get so mad because of what Michael was doing and the way your mother was treating Michael that it made you want to die?

Jeremy: Yeah.

Corky: Now that's a real key there. Now that's normal. You're normal, ok. That's ok to think like that. You just don't want to do anything about it. But that's a normal think. I thought the same thing when I was your age, so did your dad, and Terry, so did Mary... I don't know about women, I can't necessarily speak for them. It may be a little bit different depending upon....

Janet: It's more like when he said it's more like the feeling that you want to die, it's not that you actually want to...I'm too chicken to...

Corky: Ok, there we've come into a new issue, we want to die but we don't know how to go about doing it because we don't want it to be painful, and answer all the questions of what's happening on the other side, and so we stop at that point and it keeps us away from it.

Al: Yeah, you want a little insurance in the deal.

Corky: Oh yeah, you want a good policy. I mean you want to make sure. That is what is so interesting about it, if you knew what was on the other side, like a lot of the philosophers say, you would be jumping to die. You know because, and I don't want to encourage anybody around here to commit suicide because it's not...see, what happens is then you've got to start right over where you left off, except you've got to get a new body, and get old again to start working on it, and it's a pain in the butt. And so what you want to do is get as much as you can done right now, and hang in there to a reasonable point. Now when your body stops functioning normally, and it becomes more of a burden on society and yourself than it is to be within it, then what you want to do is let go of it.

And then, one thing I want to talk about in this next big weekend is this bullshit story that's going on within the metaphysical world that "I'm going to think myself into heaven," or transform myself with my positive thinking or my affirmations and create myself a new body through the mind. I want to talk about that. It's not logical. The probabilities are against it. Let's take a quick break and we'll come back and we'll talk about it.